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I have several areas where in I can begin to feel insecure. Not being included is one. I also don't feel like she's texting me, while spending the day with him, as much as she'd text her new partner if she were spending the day with me. Being replaced as the date for special events like poly...

I was wondering if your anxiety was more about "getting it up," as many of the people replying seem to have thought, or about your looks (your perception), or your skills in bed. I sympathize with you. My looks are something that I worry about only slightly, but more often I feel pretty down...

I still think the thing to go by is basing the decision on what people involved are comfortable with. If detail sharing is ok, then enjoy it. If just broad general questions or ok, then enjoy that. I wouldn't worry about what's the norm for other people's relationships. It's all about respecting...

I like knowing details. I'll take them as juicy as she'll give them to me, but I usually ask questions about the highlights, or the overall type of sex. I do this to be modest and respectful. If I sense that she's enjoying telling, I'll ask a little more. I'm definitely a voyeur, so hearing...

I realize this thread has been dormant for 7 months, but I wonder how things have gone for her. Also, I second the advice from GalaGirl regarding exploring fisting. I have worked towards fisting a little bit with a woman that I'm dating, and while she can't fit my whole hand in yet, she really...

I'm replying a bit late to this thread, but CaptainKidd I'd like to express my opinion. First, I like the level of radical honesty about sex that has occurred between you and your wife. I prefer to be told those same things that she told you. Now, part of my sexuality is that I'm submissive...

Catfish, I feel similar emotions as you do when my girlfriend is with her other boyfriend. The way that I'd like to solve it is by being told many details, even if the details would make him seem like he is a superior lover. I want the chance to own my own feelings. I also prefer to try and...

Mono, you are right, to an extent. Part of the reason I want to know is to estimate how I measure up. I don't want to compete, though.

The woman that I'm in a relationship with is more likely to censor the sexual info. I feel frustrated by that. I prefer to know details and tackle my feelings head on. Any other members feel the same way?

That's how I feel. Knowing more makes me feel closer to my partner. Some things may make me feel slightly inadequate, but I'd still prefer to know. Then I'm able to meditate on why I feel inadequate and dissect my emotions. I can tell myself that I should not worry about whatever is bothering...

I would like to point out that she doesn't keep the relationship totally secret from me. In fact, I live with her other boyfriend as a roommate. I see them for a few minutes when they have a date night. I'm able to see her and see how into him she is, but she never talks about her attraction...

I have a desire for my partner to tell me as much as she is willing about what she finds attractive and enjoys about her other boyfriend. I feel that this would help me to accept things for the way they are. I keep wondering and contemplating. I feel like I'm resisting, and that I would stop...

I'm turned on by hotwife/cuckold fantasies. I have been having trouble with jealousy. You have my sympathy. I believe that she should be able to go on from here, respecting your boundaries and expectations. They need to be clearly stated and understood, and the two of you should agree on them.

I don't have much advice except for suggesting to openly communicate about your feelings. I didn't want to reveal insecurity, and would hold things like this in. I still do once in a while. It was not wise. I ended up making mistakes. You are not alone. I also have mild social anxiety...

I can see where you are coming from. You are comparing the feeling of NRE with the new man to the relationship with your husband in which you no longer feel the "mushy stuff". Here's a question, do you still desire your husband sexually? I'm assuming you are using the term "mushy stuff" in...

I think a few poly people are indeed addicted to NRE. I still think that it is polyamory if they are open and honest about their involvements with others. It sure isn't cheating or infidelity if everyone is totally informed and also consents.

It sounds like the three of you have a great base to start from. Things may not have going perfectly in the past, but now you three are communicating about this and are aware of each other's feelings. That is great! Remember to continue with very open communication. Hopefully his wife will...

As MonoVCPHG wrote, do lots of reading about polyamory. After that, the next step is probably to decide if you're going to try opening the relationship or not. Know ahead of time that you will face fear and jealousy. The decision you have to make is to decide to try to overcome the jealousy...

Confused, I really like what you've written. I agree that it is important to keep the balance of positive to negative conversations in check. I've knocked the balance out of whack more than once in my relationship, so I can attest to the extra strain that creates. I also agree with trying to...

I think it is possible that it is a pride thing. I've felt similar feelings. I have avoided performing oral sex on my girlfriend a couple of times because her other boyfriend is better at that than I am. He can give her an orgasm that way, and I have not been able to. So, rather than go down on...