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Update... So... I was able to talk to my guy about an hour ago reasonably and rationally (I have never been one of those women that just go ape shit on someone) and express my feelings. I did even use some of MZ's rhetoric in my conversation (thanks!). I think we're good for now. Trust me...

See my explanation to MZ. I would somewhat agree with the doormat thing, but not TOTALLY dishonest. Besides, as I said... our guy KNOWS we communicate with each other. He just doesn't know that we have seen each other on our own without his knowledge.

We are seeing the same person, but everyone is aware of each other. He actually introduced me to his "fuck buddy"... a woman that he has been in a relationship with for 7 years. They see each other about 3 times a year when he wants to mix things up. She's very open sexually. The thing is...

It really shows that you've been treated poorly in the past. These things he does, for which you are so grateful, are COMMON COURTESY. You have NO idea. He's probably the best of the worst, and he gets away with a lot of things because he's rich, but what's my alternative? The broke guys...

So I entered my first polyamory (what I refer to as honest) relationship at the end of April, and besides a few bumps in the road, it has been relatively fulfilling and I have been pretty happy. ...until recently. The one thing I had always found refreshing about the relationship was the...

I didn't pressure him at all. When he told me how he felt and stated that he wanted to cancel the trip, I told him he should do what he thought was best, and the threesome was kind of accidental. He left us alone and came back earlier than we expected. The rest is history!!! LOL!!!!!

I ended up telling him that I didn't want to break the news to her about the trip and he told her himself. As for continuing to date her, we have already decided to get together on our own without even telling him. My concern is still that she is expecting more from him (she clings to this...

So it's been a while since I posted, and a lot of good things have happened since I last posted. I am still with my guy and it turns out he's not quite as much of a jerk as I thought he was. I just had to learn how to set boundaries, speak up and communicate. Since I have been doing that...

Oh... I realize it. I get on my own nerves with the back and forth (smile). This is all SOOOO new to me, and I don't know whether I'm coming or going most of the time... I meant back out of the trip based on his response to me really expressing my feelings... I would never "test" anyone...

I know! I know!!! You are absolutely right. I am really leaning towards just NOT going and letting the chips fall where they may (even if that means he decides that not being into group sex is a dealbreaker). I'm interested to see how he responds to me being fully honest about how I feel...

I am going to use this advice (both on how to discuss this and the respect part).

EXACTLY!!!! I think I would be open to a group setting under the right circumstances, but just throwing me in freaks me out. I like to start at the shallow end of the pool first and progress to deeper waters.

I'm glad to know that others feel this way. I was starting to feel like something was wrong with me (like... why can't I GET this?).

Thanks everyone! These are all amazing responses and timely advice. I haven't decided totally not to go yet. I am going to wait and see what his response is to me voicing my feelings. I actually practiced what I was going to say to him while driving to work today and wrote down some points...

So you guys know the...saga of me, my intro to poly, and my new guy's insistence that I get involved in group sex. I've really been thinking, and the closer our next meeting gets, the more apprehensive I get. I just think it's going to be WAY TOO MUCH for me. I already know that I can't watch...

Good question...

Good for you on getting back out there and expanding your horizons. I understand about the medical condition (my dad is blind, and I was the only caregiver he trusted for a long time). Just make sure you are doing what is best for you...only you know within your heart if its the right thing...

You hit the nail on the head. I get the feeling that some other women have done it for him in the past only to later express their discomfort with it and things falling apart. I don't want that to happen. I'd rather know now if that's a deal breaker. When I asked that question, he said "no"...

She's from a different city as well, so he will be flying both of us in to see him. We see each other about every two weeks for about three days at a time.

As someone else said... I think he gets off on seeing his SO's with each other or them...performing...simultaneously on him. I'm not saying I may not EVER get comfortable with it (after I have had a chance to get to know the other person), but I am getting really frustrated with his...