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@Arrowbound, Those things you pointed out, and saying they're manipulation and everything... I'm just curious, but how would a "normal" poly (I use this term because apparently I've been told he isn't doing poly right) react to my hurt/fear/anxiety? What would a normal polyamorous person do...

I am definitely taking all of your thoughts and opinions into consideration. I will speak with him again when I can and hopefully either work something out, or at least figure out our feelings and where we want this relationship to go, etc. Truly, thank you all for your opinions and help...

He is careful with me because he knew he was my first. Therefore, he knew he couldn't get anything from me... I understand the concern, I do. And I am considering making him wear a condom, or at least show me a test when he gets it done. I will get tested. (I'm just slightly afraid of getting...

But what if I don't want to end it? What if I want to see if we can work it out? How do I address him about my feelings, or about how he needs to work with me to make us work, and not just do what ever he wants? He says he'll always love me, and always make time for me... But I've honestly been...

He never said he couldn't control his actions. He just doesn't want to. He is poly and says that means he can do what he wants. And I guess it means I am separate from his life in that regard. My emotions do not impact his decisions to sleep around. I honestly don't know how he does it. He's...

@BrigidsDaughter, we do communicate. I voice my feelings and what have you. But it doesn't change his actions... And, while I understand to an extent he wants to have other relationships and everything... I just don't understand the one-night stands. And, to be fair, he met me and his other...

He says I have to accept him the way he is, or else we can't be together. His actions aren't up for debate, basically. If I say anything about it, he says I'm not letting him be his own person, and I'm trying to change him. I'm not letting him be polyamorous. I can't say anything about the...

Hello, again. I've recently been forced to make a decision about the relationship I have with my polyamorous man, and I don't quite know what to do. I'm hoping for some advice or encouragement. In a little less than 5 weeks, there will be a convention. This is the same convention where I met...

Thanks, Annabel. I really like that site you showed me. Maybe I'll send him the link to it so maybe he can read some stuff for himself. ( as he likes to show me a definition list and then tell me that's what poly's about, maybe it's time I show him what I've learned!) :) Signing up for this...

You are right. You are absolutely right. I will speak up. If he doesn't like it or refuses to compromise or try and ease things on me then I shouldn't stay. We should want this equally.

But what if I tell him I don't like something, and ask him to change it, and he gets mad at me or doesn't want to? Then I have to leave him... I mean... It doesn't seem to matter to him what my dealbreakers are... I can't see him losing me as an actual loss, especially if I don't put up with...

I was told by a newfound friend that I should add a key factor into something that makes me upset and uncomfortable about my love's poly lifestyle. He only tells me about a new lover AFTER he has been intimate with them. Apparently that is a big faux-pas? I don't know. I'm new to all this...

MorningTwilight "Unfortunately, based upon what you've described, he's going about it all in a fairly self-centered, immature, hamfisted way. But, have you spoken up to tell him how you feel, and to ask him for what you need by way of reassurance?" He isn't young... But he is new to the poly...

MorningTwilight, Unfortunately, he's the one well connected with the poly community, and anyone I know who is poly, is close with him, and I can't find help with them. They are his friends. And the one person I thought could help me out, and I was really counting on a good friendship from her...

I know the primary stuff doesn't ease anything, but I think it would make me feel even just slightly better. Because I don't feel important, even though he tells me so. I just know that he could never devote to me, and if I leave him because of that, who's to say a person won't just cheat on me...

I know it's probably not the ideal, but to be honest, no one's ever been interested in me aside from him. So I don't think I'm honestly worth someone's "full, intimate attention." I honestly believe that no one would ever want that from me, or give that back to me. It really feels like I need...

Um.. Hi... I just joined this site because I'm lacking help and support to try and figure out how to make a polyamorous relationship work while I'm monogamous... I met the guy I'm with eight months ago, and was very hesitant to get involved, because I knew off the bat he was poly. But... I...