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Idealist (NF) http://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=overview Not sure what NF stands for tho'.

I'm the poly one in my relationship, and I do this far more than my mono husband. He and my Dom ask me about the future sometimes, and I always seem to qualify it with "that depends on..." I like the idea of just "going with the flow." I wonder how many people do this without realizing it...

Thank you for sharing that. It's nice to hear those precious moments when it all falls into place.

I would love to master this one. It is difficult to separate ourselves from our loves. Their happiness is our happiness, their pain, our pain. It's almost counter intuitive, yet, when you are not attached it does provide you with certain advantages. Right now, I'm in the "always in panic"...

I haven't read the replies yet. I am deeply in love with my mono husband. I would not sacrifice that relationship for anything. He loves me enough to allow me to pursue my poly nature. I will not say that it's easy, but it takes a special mono person to deal with polyamory. You are already...

Thank you, Gem. Very thoughtful reply and very helpful. Causing another pain is so hard to deal with sometimes, even if unintentional. Mono spouses don't always understand everything, no matter how supportive they try to be. The best thing I think I can do is to learn to be comfortable...

" I think guilt stems from perceived disappointment you feel others will have towards your actions. Or at least that's been our experience." Excellent statement, imho. Thank you, and I hope Gem pipes in. : )

Jealousy, I have learned, is spawned from that fear of losing something, of not getting what you need or want...very basic description...but what is Guilt born of? More fear, obviously, but of what? Is it also linked to loss? Fear that you will lose the object of your guilt? Much worth...

Thank you. Glad to hear there is help to be had. :)

tks Thank you for the reply. Congrats on having a long and successful poly journey. ;)

Hi all. I've only realized that I am Poly in the last couple of years. Now, I'm beginning a possible poly journey. Married to my Mono husband who is allowing me this venture. He has his bad days, which seem to spark severe guilt in me. I actually was searching here looking for discussions...