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Polyamory Leadership Network

Sorry! I missed the whole first page of posts!

I missed the single appearance of the word "intercourse" in your poll choices. (Update) Indeed, nearly everywhere else you use the terms "sex" or "sexual" which, in my world, are not the same as "intercourse."

Please define which activities count as "unprotected" and which count as "protected."

It sounds like he broke an agreement with you (no touching while naked) and that's what's most important here in my opinion. Does your partner know about your concerns now? Do you think this makes only her less trustworthy, or does it makes your partner less trustworthy, too? He seems to be...

My testing schedule has nothing to do with whether I'm starting new relationships or not. Why should it? I believe one should have a safety regimen that includes regular testing (whether you think you need or not) and exercising good judgment about partners, including that you trust them to...

Why isn't "after results are exchanged and discussed" an option? Why would anyone think there's some amount of chronological time that can substitute for regular testing and informed decision-making?

Have you discussed with Peter why emotional monogamy is so important to him in your relationship? On the other hand, unless you're hiding something from Peter that isn't obvious from what you're written, it seems like your situation is pretty good. Maybe words like "poly" are getting in the...

Do you personally know any people in successful poly relationships? Maybe you would benefit from seeing some examples of it working. And talking face-to-face about your fears might be more productive. Have you looked for poly meetups in your area?

Do you think poly is something you are enduring for him? I'm not endorsing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" as a solution, but I can see how people in your situation turn to that option. Would it be easier for you to handle your emotions about your relationship with him and his many relationships if...

I guess it's been awhile since I've used phpBB boards, because I remember them being easier to use than this site... so I guess my online habits and expectations have changed since the last time I was frequently using phpBB sites. /shrug

Yes, I become polysaturated very quickly. I need ME time to recharge and when I'm not getting enough, I'm no fun to be around... so my situation is pretty self-regulating.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Unfortunately, your husband was NOT practicing what you were talking about. If you didn't know he had another lover/partner, then he was cheating. If his other partner senses your discomfort and withdraws from your husband because of it, in my opinion...

About 10 years ago, I had a kind of epiphany that led to a lot of changes in my outlook and personality. I went from quite high-strung and work-focused, to mostly laid-back and relationships-focused--people focused, really. One of the big problems I had to work out was my temper and my...

Oh My Lover by PJ Harvey

IANAL. The lawyers I heard presenting at Atlanta Poly Weekend 2012 suggested trusts are the best way to collectively share assets while protecting the group and its assets from legal action against individual members. Another thing I overheard is that LLC's provide very little protection...

Perhaps you could all sit down, acknowledge past mistakes all around, and ask for a fresh start with a clean slate for everyone with total honesty from that point forward.

Dear mostlyclueless, I'm sorry if my opinion sounded harsh to you. I didn't take any time to couch it in polite language as I'd certainly have done in a face-to-face conversation. I could say, such are the perils of the internet, but that also probably wouldn't be helpful. So, if you'll...

It's self-deception to believe that your issues with self-esteem and insecurity are made to be better or worse by your partner dating or not dating other people. Those issues are there regardless. IMO, "taking breaks" is about whether the insecure person gets to ignore their insecurity or not...

If you want better, hotter sex in (or back into) your relationship, then learn how to have better, hotter sex. I guarantee that great sex has little to do with the size of your dick (and therefore, little to do with the largeness of the next guy's.) NRE makes sex better, no doubt. You ought...