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I have no idea what the symbolism behind it is. I didn't even know the words keffiyeh or shemagh, though once I googled it I recognized what I saw. As far as impressions go, if I see one being worn around the head, I assume there are religious or practical reasons, and if I see one being worn...

Yes, a person can have co-primaries, or non-hierarchical realtionships without descriptors like primary and secondary, or no primaries but multiple secondary/tertiary relationships. One of the great things about poly (as I see it, anyway) is that as long as it works for everyone, people can have...

Your interpretation may be correct, but even if it is, isn't this a great place then to hear from a LOT of people how trying to keep a boundary or limitation like that will most likely be impossible? Over and over people here say, for myriad reasons, that you feel what you feel. Emotions can't...

In this situation I might take the "clueless" route and pretend like I had no idea why she texted Maca about me being there and didn't recognize the implied request to cancel. Play it like she MUST have just been texting Maca to double-check that I was still going, or something- because of...

Does she understand why you are pissed off? Did she agree to explain the situation more explicitly to him, or is she disrespecting your relationship by letting him get away with referring to you as a "friend"? So? Doesn't make it okay. All the more reason, in fact, for her to make an extra...

There's no "usual" time, unless "longer than the other person wants to wait" can be considered usual. But days, even weeks, may not be enough. Months is not, I feel, unreasonable. MC and I took YEARS, opening up with baby steps as necessary, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have a...

Also, TGIB complains about the word "wibbly" but LOVES Doctor Who, and I JUST pointed out that quote the other day, as proof that the word "wibbly" is FINE and perfectly usable! :-P

Not exactly in the same boat, but for many years I agreed to a "no PiV or PiA sex with anyone else" boundary with MC. Lots of people on this forum would NOT have been okay with that agreement, but at the time it worked for me. Besides occasional idle curious thoughts, I didn't have any desire...

It sounds like he doesn't actually understand what it means for you to be poly in nature, which makes sense since he is apparently not poly. He may need more discussions about polyamory to realize that you being poly means you don't have to choose, nor would he come between you and Peaches. I'm...

I replied to your other post about this, I'll just going to copy and paste it here so the discussion is all in one place: I would say probably. You've been honest, your boyfriend has given you the green light, there's just a couple other things you should clarify first: - Talk to boyfriend...

I think there's more of a thought process for me. First in figuring out if it's a "want v want" conflict, "need v need", or "want v need". There's also more thought about how much I can actually do to meet this want or need, and how much responsibility I have to meet it. Since I live with MC...

I third what Anne and GalaGirl said about holding him accountable for breaking the agreement- if he doesn't agree to no more dates until you meet her, there's a bigger problem than your insecurities (i.e. his apparent lack of respect and commitment to YOU, not to mention possible...

I would say probably. You've been honest, your boyfriend has given you the green light, there's just a couple other things you should clarify first: - Talk to boyfriend about what happens/how you two deal if your feelings for this other guy become stronger after sleeping with him. Maybe your...

I think my interpretation is a slightly more negative version of GalaGirl's: when looking for a long term relationship, better to miss an opportunity with someone who you COULD have had a great relationship with than put a ton of time and energy into something that ultimately can't work and...

life in general, not so much poly I'm so tired of fighting battles that can't be won. I'm tired of the rigged deck. I'm tired of those in power making rules that they themselves don't follow, but enforce on others whose only choices are accept it or leave completely, without having a voice in...

I don't know that there is an "ideal" poly arrangement. I think that's sort of the point. I'm in an arrangement that's good (not yet ideal) for me and my partners, but my arrangement would NOT work at all for at least a few people on this forum that I know of. I think, perhaps, in all the...

HAHAHAHA!!! Haruki, YOU ARE AWESOME! I LOVE IT!! I tried to send you a PM, but either you've chosen not to receive them or they're blocked somehow, so I'll post it here: In any community, unfortunately there's always going to be a few jerks. Sometimes I'll reply to one of them, but I have no...

Not "anything". The use of the term "unicorn" is because those couples tend to be looking for something rare, perhaps even non-existent: a bisexual person who can be in an equal relationship with both halves of a couple. There's no reason on earth why it has to be JUST a female. Just because...

(bold mine) C'mon, BG, be fair and don't try to backpedal. You didn't originally say anything about "typical". You used absolute statements that were in no way designed to be anything other than a "wake-up" slap in the face. Nor was there ANY invitation to search around the forums. Language...

THIS. I agree 100%, as does TGIB (as would MC if he weren't mono). If she's willing to open her mind to other possibilities, awesome, he can keep trying to explain it in a way that will click with her. But if it's a hard limit for her? There's nothing he can do to get what he wants, just move...