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1) You always have to consider the spouse and kids, imo. I'm never one to say, "You have to stay married because that's what you agreed to" but he does have a responsibility to his kids, at the very least. For those who realize they want poly after years of mono, I say the same thing: go slowly...

You kept things bottled up inside, basically lied to yourself and your wife and her girlfriend for TWELVE YEARS. And now you've made this drastic, 180-degree turn in the space of what, a month?? I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings. You've realized what you feel, what you want and what...

Everything LR said. I might change this bit, though, to say I admit to being capable of poly. Unlike some others, I have never looked for multiple relationships, nor do I think I would if one of my current relationships ended. They are a lot of work. But they happen. My "version" of poly is...

O.O asshole... I'm trying really hard not to judge him for that feeling. But LYING about the way he felt?!? That was a choice, and a fucked-up one at that. I haven't really had anything to add to this thread, since I agree that it's something that pisses me the hell off and I don't put up...

"Because it works for me." or "Because we worked it out that way so I didn't have to choose between two incredible people who love me."

Thirded. Due to my responsibilities to my children and husband, I can't always accommodate what TGIB would like (or what I would like, for that matter). But his needs and wants ALWAYS matter, are always communicated and discussed as needed, and I do my best to meet them. If I can't meet them...

Tonberry, I would totally have replied to that, with a DETAILED list of all the ways his profile was BS and the evidence that he had never read my profile at all. But then I'm a bitch like that, and currently feel no pressure to be polite to someone who has disrespected me/treated me like an...

Well, yes, that tends to be how I work. :confused:

I don't always agree with BG, but I'm gonna chime in with a HELL YES this time. Sounds to me like Darling has his own issues, even without Chatty in the picture. He was in denial about the issues with her, now he's in denial about the issues regarding this living situation. And he makes...

BWAHAHAHAAAA!!! MC is an Aquarius and....no. Just no. None of it. If some of them happened to jibe with you, pure coincidence. The writer is full of crap and should be laughed at or ignored. I resemble some of being a Virgo. Not all of it. To me it's fun to compare how I'm like and dislike...

You've seen me, MC, and TGIB together, so I'll bet you already know my answer to this. While we may not be peas in a pod about everything (we don't always have the same taste in movies, music, hobbies, etc) we have MANY similarities in our senses of humor, our beliefs, and how we want to spend...

I assumed in high school that I would never get married, but I assumed I'd be a serial monogamist (not that I knew that term at the time!), ending one relationship when I got interested in the next person like I had been doing so far. I read Heinlein in my 20's, but by that point I'd already...

Is this part set in stone? As a teacher, I can tell you that students miss school for a week or more due to family travels all the time. The girls' school likely has some sort of Independent Study they can do to make up the absences, if you're concerned about that, and even if they don't have a...

I dunno HMA, maybe I am, are YOU touchy much? I find it interesting that you say this: AFTER saying this: Looks like a little bit of backpedaling to me. But then your post had a bunch of absolutes and "this is the way it is, and I know what I'm talking about!" types of statements, which is...

Maybe it's not true in Vegas, HMA. If so, great! But not every place in America is the same. My daughter goes to a fairly conservative but PUBLIC school (in an area with a significant Mormon and Catholic population) and if I were "out" as agnostic we would be ostracized from school functions...

Opalescent put it better than I could. I completely agree. Since you say you've lost self-respect, now is the time to start re-building your self-respect by choosing self-respecting behaviors. Do not go along with his crazy plans and schemes. Do not give in to his manipulations and gaslighting...

I can understand grieving that even a friendship isn't possible and being sad about how many issues she has, but hadn't he already decided that he wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with her, and that it was basically done out of convenience in the first place? I guess I don't...

This is VERY true. I can see why he took it as a did, turning your thoughts on poly into thoughts about him, but you are absolutely right about this part. Any existing relationships DO need to be solid and stable before adding more people. Since he doesn't seem willing to read links, articles...

I see these three facts as being the most pertinent, because when you put them together, I see this: 1) HK has been with Jules the entire time she's been with Aimee. 2) Struggling with the sexual aspect of relationship with Jules has only been going on for the past year or so. Presumably for...

Hi Tamcat. I was going to clarify this part for GalaGirl, since I think she misread it: but since you've already done so I'll just add: if it were me (or, when it is me, cause this can happen with TGIB especially) I wouldn't have asked if we could wait. I would have just stopped engaging and...