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Reasons a LOT of poly people have a problem with people dating "as a couple": What does this even mean? Equal in what ways? You've "decided" to add another. Okay. I'm going to assume best intent and figure you mean you decided to look for another. Fine. Will she have the same freedom to look...

I think you answered your own question: which is a totally fair point of view, imo, but You did not control his decision or actions. You did not even get to a place where you felt like you needed to weigh-in on his decision. He did it himself, without any encouragement, pressure, or...

I would imagine that right now there are times when the existing couple does something on their own, and everyone understands and is fine with that. Adding another person is going to need some of that same "just us" time. Are they adding this person as a triad, or as a Vee? I only ask because a...

Done! I liked being able to explain my answers, though I don't envy you trying to sift through all the responses. Good luck!

I think a lot depends on what is meant by them sharing "details". Are they bragging? Giving TMI? Or are they trying to share their life and the people who are important to them with their family? I don't think you need to be poly or open yourself to be aware and accepting of others being poly or...

"can't know"...what? That you know each other? That you're friends (good friends, close friends, whatever)? Or that you fuck each other? Because the first two should be fine for others to know. I don't hide the existence of TGIB from my life. But only a few selected people know there's anything...

Some people may honestly not remember all the details they agreed to. Some people may stop arguing/punishing their partner if it can be proved in writing that they agreed to something. Some people may gain a greater understanding of exactly what they're agreeing to if they see it in black and...

Besides this one?

TGIB also has self-esteem issues, and I've also had times this year of wondering if I'm reaching my breaking point, so we've devised a plan to try. Because counseling is not really an option for TGIB (due to money, distance, and other circumstances) we are going to try a book that has been...

I only have two things to add: A friend of mine who uses a wheelchair gets LIVID when someone tells him, "You're so brave! I couldn't do what you do." Regardless of how much the perpetrator meant it as a compliment (and I think they honestly do usually), his mental response (though I don't...

That's an interesting generalization. The website you're referring to, morethantwo, is one of the most recommended websites here. Many people here have read it, gotten a great deal from it, and think it's wonderfully helpful. It's one of the first things usually offered to someone who comes here...

I have a 5 year Goal of "me, MC, and TGIB all living in the same town, everyone employed (if desired) and with me finished with my master's if I decide I want to get it." It's not really a Plan, per say. The plan changes as current circumstances change, in order to keep the Goal in sight. But...

I'm very sorry you're going through this. It strikes a nerve with me, because I had something similar happen in the past and am fearful of something like it happening in the future. So I have nothing but sympathy for you when I say- I think you already know what you need to do. So, even from...

NYCindie, I don't think it was about you. When you said, "I hope you're not including me in this statement," I think you were quite correct, because I believe she was referring to the posts below: And even then, her reaction to BG was based on more than just these statements, I think, but...

One more thing that just occurred to me, about this part specifically-- let's say you have a problem that has to do with some issue surrounding balancing the time, needs, and attention of a biological child versus another child you're raising (adopted or not) and, after I give a bit of advice...

With good reason, because in your words, they were your kids. When I say it's different if they're your own kids, I'm not talking about biological or even legal crap. The emotional connection is a huge part of what makes someone a parent. If you know that they are yours to take care of, to love...

Which part? About ableist abortions? I agree with you that it's a horrible reason. I also understood what you meant when you said you were pro-choice but anti-abortion. I believe abortions should be legal, safe, available, and RARE. My take on when a life that deserves protection under the law...

Hi Pyuvii! :) Have you tried the tag search here? If you click "Search" and then click "Tag Search" you can click on any tag there and pull up any thread that's been tagged as having to do with that topic. Yeah, it's a LOT, but you'd be able to get a really broad view of what many people think...

Good for you. I know dealing with a situation like this can be very, very difficult. And good for Darling too. Ultimately it sounds like he came through and made the better choices. Hopefully he'll be able to stick to them

Thanks, I will, but I'll also feel free to respond, seeing as how it's a public message board. I personally see no problem with posting links as a reply to a two line general question that could be posted just out of curiosity. But for those times when someone posts in a fragile emotional state...