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Mmm, I'm going to disagree with your view. I get why UpsideDown did not see River's second post as particularly helpful. It may not have meant to be condescending, but it certainly wasn't practical advice either. Now this: is a HUGE "If" and really the crux of the problem. And I think this...

Totally get this. Probably. But maybe you can take some comfort in the fact that this is all abstract for you right now. You can tie your stomach in knots imagining it, but you really don't know how you'd feel if it came up. You're only guessing. NO. Everyone has their sore spots. Having...

Had an interesting, non-drama conversation with my mother over Christmas. Got a chance to say some things that had been bugging me about her reaction to me coming out to her and my dad as bi 15+ years ago (didn't know the term "pansexual" then). Turns out she's STILL terrified of the...

True. Like a lot of replies here, I see any reply to this more for those who may read but never post, to try to balance other points of view.

MC would not like it if I got pregnant by TGIB. I would not like it if I got pregnant by TGIB. TGIB would not like it if I got pregnant by TGIB. We understand there is a risk, and if it happened, we would all deal, but we do as much as we can to minimize the risk. It seems like you are putting...

I'm not going to reply there, as I have no desire to register on ANOTHER site, but I'll try t answer here and if you want to use any of my words, you're welcome to. As stated earlier in the thread, screwed-up kids can happen in any type of family unit. Single parent, two parents, step-parents...

Hold up, I think there was one misunderstanding that would make this conversation much less intense. When Tonberry said this, I believe there was an implied "to me after "totally secular". The statement was not meat to be the total sum of the word marriage, but only how it is used in personal...

First of all, some people choose to participate in a poly relationship but, while poly-accepting, even poly-friendly, are monoamorous themselves. The point is you don't know and are making baseless assumptions. Second, do not put words in my mouth. Perhaps that's acceptable to some people you...

I've been thinking for days about what to contribute to this thread, ever since I saw Jane Q link to it. I've come to the conclusion that most of what think has already been said, and probably better than I could say it. - While I recognize the historical baggage of the term marriage, it does...

Pretty big presumption, there. And even if she IS poly, how on earth is that relevant to who is available to spend time with on a holiday? Whether poly or mono, other lovers or friends might have their time already scheduled. Assuming that the gf could find someone to spend the holiday with...

Have you talked to Joe about this part? If he is telling you she has poor social skills, is he also telling her this? Is he aware that she has no plans to try to change her behavior towards you, but instead thinks her communication skills are fine and tries to excuse it as "miscommunication"...

I think this might be a good time to accept his words as the full truth, and then if they turn out not to be he's the one who has hurt himself by not being fully honest with you or himself. Until his lying causes more damage than safety he has no reason to rethink his responses. (Sorry if this...

Lack of feedback is so hard. Our imaginations are ASSHOLES and manage to come up with something (or many things!) a million times worse than any feedback our partner(s) would EVER give, even if they were to give negative feedback (however unlikely). *HUGS* I get it, and I'm sorry you're...

Yup, and then you have cases where someone is bi or pan and poly, but at the moment their partners are only one gender. I've seen people accept me being pan, accept me being poly, but then get confused that both my partners are male.

*snicker* <3! :p :D Seriously, though, I feel the assumption of bi=poly is just as damaging as the assumption of gay=promiscuous. Sexuality and relationship choices can definitely overlap, but one does not define the other.

It's not even necessarily as big as a date night, nor is it mumbo jumbo. There's a HUGE difference between MC and I sitting in the living room on our respective phones/computers surfing the 'net and the two of us sitting in the living room watching one of our favorite programs together...

Umm, because it sounds like the wife is insane? Because she has imagined things that never existed (like the OP yelling at one of the men), is nursing grievances until they erupt, rather than communicating about them, and is basically acting abusive and bat-shit crazy? I don't know what your...

Now, another post I'd like to respond to- I was talking to TGIB about this bit, and his response was, "Aren't there two couples in our relationship?" and he's right. I know you meant preserving the primary couple first and foremost, but frankly if my relationship has to be "preserved" or...

Well written blog post. I'll do my best. I think your definition works well. I think the "presumption" and "default" parts are particularly important. For myself, I do not see my relationship with my husband as more valid or more important than my relationship with my partner. But I'm well...

Waitaminute- you and he are having a CHILD together, in THREE months, and he dumped you because he THINKS that will help his other relationship?? I'm sorry, this is probably going to come out harsher than I intend, but I'm angry. It angers me when someone uses poly as an excuse to lead with...