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You're right, of course, and I know this... I even studied anthropology, so I've got an "excuse." I'm still nervous about discussing my private life publicly. I guess deep down I'm afraid of being judged, just as I know my wife is.

Well, the main reason I've looked at some of the guys G was dating is because A) we have a policy of full disclosure with one another, but more importantly in this instance is B) she asked me what I thought about them. I don't know if this means she's had her own reservations, or if it means...

Just read through all this, and I wanted to say that it's really great to be able to read a blog from a perspective like yours, especially from someone who things seem to be going so well for! I'm actually quite surprised that Eric hasn't made a move for sexual contact apart from Gia - if she's...

Huh. So most folks will talk to people for multiple weeks online before meeting them? Interesting. Seems like a big investment of time and emotion for a chance at a physical connection. I really have no idea whether I'm going to be attracted to someone until I meet them face to face, even if...

I'd agree with NYCindie on this one - don't de-crush, enjoy it! If at some point something happens, then it does, in the meantime, you can just enjoy feeling sexy! One thing you said earlier really struck me - when you mentioned that you've always thought of attraction as starting with other...

L is messing with my head. While G and I were in Vegas, I got an email from her, saying, "I miss you." Of course I miss her too, and I'd like to still be with her, but we haven't been together in a month or more. She sucks at talking about her feelings and communicating like a grown-up without...

Things with my gf recently ended as well, and while we weren't together as long as you were with yours, I definitely feel your pain. I too was in a situation where the relationships and lives were entirely separate. My gf reached out to my wife a few times in subtle ways, sending gifts for...

I haven't read through this entire thread, but have skimmed much of it, and have read the book thoroughly. It put into words very clearly many of the things I already knew, and excellently explained their conclusions, many of which I agreed with before I even read it, just from my own study of...

...and he would be right. I'm not going to continue to flirt with a woman who sends me signals like that, because I'd feel like I was being creepy and inappropriate. I don't think this is overanalysis - I think this is something important to watch for in your own habitual behavior. Maybe you...

G's date went okay. She had fun, but said that there was no "spark." She had another date just the other night, and this one was much better. I was all stoked for her (and really enjoyed her coming home all charged up, that was fun), that is, until the details of the guy's arrangement became...

X2 on this! Ignore those thoughts as a scientist would ignore their own real-time subjective interpretations of data during a study. Experience the moment. See what it becomes. Let what's actually happening inform your opinion, instead of your preconceptions. I know I know, duh, right? It...

Well, time for an update. I wish it were a more pleasant one. Things with L haven't been "right" for a few weeks. Since she started seeing M, our level of physical intimacy has dropped dramatically. At first, it seemed as though there were specific circumstantial reasons for the decrease in...

I think that's precisely the situation where male lactation would be important and indeed necessary. My point was merely that it's not simply an issue of pride - it's actually not healthy for men. And I don't mean to paint Estrogen as being the evil of the world, but increased Estrogen levels...

Women and men are built differently - while lactation may not cause a drop in T for a woman, it requires increased estrogen in men and E is antagonistic to T in men. Even if a man were to stop lactating after a short while, the damage to his hormones would take longer to repair. A Man's T...

It actually DOES make them less of a man, that's a valid concern. Lower Testosterone, increased Estrogen. ...and along with that, the myriad increased health risks - prostate cancer, heart disease, stroke, even lower IQ. What's good for the goose is NOT good for the gander. ;)

X2 on what Mono said! Best wishes with everything!

I think a big part of G's reaction was that she's nervous about money, and I completely understand, and of course, share her concerns. She's calmed down and we're okay. I think she's accepted that it wasn't about me putting L above her and our family, but about my own insecurities and lack of...

Well, now I've done it-- incurred major wrath. I just got back from a one-night visit with L, and G is livid with me, not because I saw her or anything, but because I didn't make the most of my visit up there and make calls to former colleagues and bosses to try and set meetings to try and drum...

Absolutely agreed that the correct course of action here involves communication, and that your wife sounds very depressed, but I kinda take issue with the idea that you were somehow complicit in her weight gain and depression. To my untrained eyes, this looks like severe chemical depression...

NYCindie, huh, I never thought of that. I hope that's not a common misperception! I wouldn't want everyone thinking I'm even more full of myself than I actually am. ;) It's actually a Swedish username. It means "The Black Swede." I'm not black, though. It's more like "black" in the non-literal...