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I'm not sure there's much for you to do at this point other than being loving, supportive, and honest. Be the best lover and you that you can be, and I think the rest will fall into place. I don't envy you in this position, and I know it's going to be uncomfortable, but if you've really dealt...

X2 on bluntness. Beating around the bush here isn't going to do anyone any good.

Pat, some anti-depressants can cause or add to symptoms like you are experiencing, and with pharmaceutical influences involved, problems can be hidden and more difficult to diagnose. I didn't realize you were in Canada. That is actually a good thing for you, as you won't have to deal with the...

Not to turn this into a thread about Patrick, but it sounds to me like he's having major health problems that are not being properly addressed. A 27-year old man with ED who has gained 100 pounds in the past year is far from undiagnosable, regardless of numbers. I've had friends with not totally...

So, three years ago, Patrick started having ED problems, depression, and weight-gain. How much are we talking? 10 lbs? 100? At the exact same time, you suddenly found yourself disliking any intimacy with him at all. What happened first? The dislike of intimacy, or the ED problem? Does your...

This is a good point. But what I think Sourgirl was trying to infer was that if any intimacy between the OP and Patrick feels wrong, even kissing, then maybe her feelings of love for Patrick are not romantic, but platonic. I have very deep feelings of love for many women in my life whom I could...

Hey Kat, I just read through all this... So sorry to hear that things have spiraled into such an unfortunate situation. I think sometimes men cannot help but compare, it's sortof in our nature. This can especially be the case with very very good friends who are similar in many ways...

I'm curious when your lack of attraction to Patrick and his ED began relative to your involvement with the old boyfriend, Dylan. Are there any correlations? What happened to change the way you felt about being with him? Has Patrick sought medical help for his problem?

Well, it's been nearly a week, and not a word from the gal. Obviously she must have been stringing me along for whatever reason. I'm a patient guy, so it's probably easy to do, but I'm not made of time. Bummed it turned out this way. I need to work on not getting my hopes up.

Nothing wrong with protecting your family. The fact is, this guy is dishonest and unreliable, and has continued to be this way. I know it's painful, but you deserve better. Make appropriate legal arrangements. Since you were together for so long and have a child together, that may even...

I 100% agree. Brutal honesty is the way to go. Lies don't do anyone any favors.

Erin, I'm sorry to hear that things have gone that way between you and your SO... A lot of times people don't realize what they had until it's gone - he may wind up feeling exactly that, especially with your "roommate" status.

Cross that bridge when you come to it, and don't make assumptions about where things will end up ahead of time, because the truth is you have no way of knowing. Remain positive, loving, and open. If in the end, after being totally open and honest with each other, you find that you cannot pack...

Agreed on the whole "Don't throw the word 'love' around" thing, but beyond that, relationships change. What started out as mono can turn into poly, and vice-versa. One thing is for sure though, whether you're poly or not, you're not going to be happy unless you can share your feelings with...

Well, I can always hope for that. So far, there hasn't exactly been a line outside my door. But who knows? N, the first lady I hung out with when I was out of town was really cool, and we've stayed in touch. Dunno if we'll just be friends, or friends and lovers when we return to the west...

x3. Have you tried counseling?

First some backstory. The first night we started chatting, we were supposed to meet for dinner and drinks, but she got stuck at work, and it kept geting later and later, eventually she said she had to bail because she had a very early flight the next day and it was just too late. The next time...

Well, it didn't happen. Not sure if she's stringing me along, or if there's just circumstantial hiccups going on here. Frankly, I have no idea why someone would string me along. There doesn't seem to be any possible benefit from it. Sigh.

Thanks guys, I definitely will!!

I've always believed that we conquer our fears by confronting them. At some point, you have to stop running from something and take it head-on; either it'll be too much for you to handle, or you'll own it. Hell, sometimes it's not even that clear-cut, and you're left with a mixed bag of...