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I'm back Hello all, thanks for input and your sympathies. I just spent some time out camping with a friend, away from the internets, the wife, and all other things. It was a very good experience for me, finding that it helps a great deal to step away from "normal life," so that I am not...

My wife of 15 years started dating a guy about 5 weeks ago. He was very good for her in many ways, and I was happy for her, but then she started seeing him a lot. We talked about scheduling, and I thought we had things under control, but she just kept pushing boundaries. The main reason for the...

Yeah... I get that.... I wasn't clear on the difference. Yes, for us it is a difference that he has no other partner as we have expectations of how often my GF can do things. She has her husband and kids to consider, and even if I wanted to give her more of my time that isn't really an option...

few I guess I wasn't clear. I see my GF 2 times a week. Max. Sometimes only once in a week. Wife is making plans to see BF every other day. In other words 3-4 times per week. Other big thing of note - my GF is married. BF was previously single and is only seeing my wife.

NRE feedback Thanks for all of the feedback, I appreciate it. I very much like the perspective of looking at what I need, rather than concerning myself about what she is getting from him. It is easy to think "I'm not getting X because she is giving X to him". However, it is much better to...

Wife has a new boyfriend and she is lost in this guy. It's difficult because he is so right for her. I'm happy for her. They have a wonderful time together. She is so happy with him...but he is (was) single and this is his first foray into the poly world. I have real concerns about her getting...

Yes, she is heavily into the NRE. We did have a good talk today, and she asked for me to let her create her own boundaries - but we will work on getting a schedule together as well, to make sure our daughter gets the time she needs. One thing she sugggested was to have a babysitter once a week...

Hello all - I haven't posted on here in quite a while, so I thought I would re-introduce myself and my situation. I have been married for almost 11 years, together for 15. I decided a few years ago to have an outside relationship. There have been ups and downs in regards to my wife's acceptance...

<snip> NYCindie, thanks so much for writing this. It's very helpful to me to see your perspective on this. That is also a great suggestion to have a period of time to not have overnights, with the intention of doing so in the future. That would have been a good thing to offer up. I know that...

I should have clarified. The two older kids are teenagers. They are home with the younger one after she goes to bed at 8:00 pm, and usually Zoe and I are home until she goes to bed. Quite often we go out after then, or she does, or I do. This dynamic is soon to change, as the two older kids will...

Actually, Lucy did want to meet my kids (at least my youngest). She has two boys about her age and thought it would be fun for them to meet. I agreed that would be fun, but I wasn't comfortable with that unless she was going to meet my wife. I didn't want to introduce my child into such a...

I agree that is true, but this situation was difficult, in that it was new for ALL parties. The "no sleepover rule" was created as we found what everyone was comfortable with. Zoe discovered after the relationship had started that she was not comfortable with sleepovers. This would have been...

This has definitely been a learning experience. This has been the first real relationship that either of us have had outside of our marriage, it was all quite casual up until now. I have found that I am definitely less interested in the casual side of things now. I'm thinking more poly and less...

So...update. I just talked with Lucy for the last several hours about how things are now, and everything was good and understood until the sleepover subject came up. It has been a sore subject this whole time, but when we talked this time she decided that she absolutely wasn't happy with that...

Hey - thanks on that link to that article, that was very interesting...it helps me see how RAH influenced my thinking on sex and relationships. To be honest I haven't re-read any of his books in several years, but I definitely have a desire to do so again!

I don't necessarily think that she wants me all to herself. She seems to be quite accepting of my wife and family at this point. She just doesn't want to meet her. She is cool with sharing, too, actually. I have decided that I don't want to force them to meet. There is just too much resistance...

Do I sound a bit confused here? I think maybe.

Yes, you are absolutely correct. Zoe has been amazing and very understanding throughout all of this. She did give me the one rule, and that was no sleepovers. I completely understand this reasoning and I am not resenting that at all. I would like to have sleepovers with Lucy, but absolutely not...

Thanks. Very good advice. I'm going to let her work on things at a pace that is comfortable for her. I guess I am still left wondering whether it is healthy for this type of situation, as every poly relationship I have read about seems to be one in which all parties are at the very least...

Actually, no, I should have made that clear. Lucy has never had a poly relationship before. This whole thing was very foreign to her. It took some getting used to, really about up until now, for her to decide if this was something that she could actually have in her life. It isn't a good idea...