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I still think she should know the truth. I always wanted her to know everything, but I thought itwas actually his job to tell her. But anyway, whether right or wrong, it would mean so much stress for me to write her, and I really feel like I don't want anything to do with him, or her, or...

Thanks for your post. :) At the moment, it definitely feels better not to waste any more energy on this story.

Thanks Regallion ;) I'm still thinking about whether or not I should let her know about the things going on. I have found a way to contact her and I feel bad about knowing that she probably doesn't know what was going on behind her back. I think she deserves to know the truth. On the other...

I woke up this morning thinking about how much I love him. I wrote to him, because I wanted him to know. Don't worry, I'm not going back to him. :D I have found a line crossed in our relationship, and I'm not willing and able to give up my distance until I feel comfortable with it. It is...

I don't know... I don't feel like talking bad behind his back. I think we should keep in mind that this is our opinion, and that someone making mistakes in a field they have literally no experience with, doesn't necessarily make them a bad person in general. He definitely has done a lot for me...

I think his reaction to me leaving him is quite understandable when you know his background a little better. I also think he never really expected me to leave, although I knew it was very likely. I never hid from him that I would leave if I didn't manage to come to terms with the situation. Yet...

Because of my own story, some questions about emotional cheating in mono relationships raised in my head, and I would like to know what you think about it. Especially those of you on this board in a mono relationship are welcome to answer (I'm sure there are a few ;)). Of course, everyone else...

I thought you guys would like to hear how this story ended. A few days ago, I told him that I'll need more distance from now on, because I couldn't handle the situation any longer. I tried to make him understand that I don't want to blame him, that I've tried all I could, but now think it's...

I think if I just say "I'm jealous," I don't go deep enough into understanding this feeling. I think it has nothing to do with English not being my first language, more with how I look at emotions. There is something underlying my jealousy, and for me this is feeling hurt, and feeling hurt comes...

To me, it is irrational, as I don't think that the way he treats me really means I would have to suffer forever, unless I walk away. I think it is possible not to feel hurt in my situation, and of course, I would favor not feeling hurt by something. What I'm learning right now is to allow myself...

It's not meant to be an excuse, more an explanation. I understand what you're saying, but unfortunately he is not here, nor is it very likely that he will join the discussion, so this will probably remain mainly a report of my views and feelings.

Well, I'm just relaying what he tells me. Yes, maybe he's fooling me or her, yet I have no reason to believe that. I'm not a naive person; I usually don't buy things people tell me, just like that. I'm rather quite suspicious and critical by nature. Sure. I have my weaknesses, but if I were that...

@bystander: He said himself that he chose things this way because he wanted to keep both of us close, and this seemed like a good way for him to do that. When he made this decision with her, he did not expect me to have any problems with it, as for him, like he said, it would not have been a...

Okay, I agree with that. But who knows what he doesn't tell me, when he lies to me? The point is, he thinks he is doing the right thing. He thinks he treats me and her well and with the greatest love and respect. That is HIS reality and truth. And the thing is, no one KNOWS about the truth, we...

Hm, why control freak? That has never been on my mind with him, so I wonder what makes you think he could be one?

I think I can deal with a poly relationship, when I am treated with the same respect and fairness as my partner's other partners. We had this situation before they made the decision to become a monogamous couple. I knew he loved her too, that he wanted to live with both of us, and although we...

Hi there, There is some news I wanted to share with you. I have decided for myself that I'm not willing to stay in this relationship with him, if things stay the way the are. I haven't changed my view about it. I still think that it is actually my problem that I feel hurt when someone I'm...

She wants a mono relationship with you, right? And you said you could imagine being in a mono relationship but can't promise her to maintain it forever. She wants to be with you anyway. Just to make sure that I get you right. That seems a bit risky to me. Like one of you might have to change...

Are you asking for too much? No, you aren't! Who, except yourself, has the right to decide what is too much for you? You feel bad and want it to change. you feel like you can't handle the situation. Of course you're not asking for too much, if you see things that way! You probably feel like you...

First of all, thank you for taking all the time writing here. I really appreciate it. Your opinion and views make me think again, and that's a good thing. I wish I had more time to reply to all you say, but I don't, so I focus on what I think is most important: Actually, this was my first...