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I understood it was rhetorical, but wanted to write my thoughts about it anyway. So, you can't handle that he says what he has done is bad? That's your problem then, I guess. In the beginning, I felt quite hurt when he said it was a bad thing, but I'm coming to terms with it now. It's the way...

This is exactly the image my husband had in mind when I told him that I wanted to have the other man equally close. He said that I should respect his feelings and give up seeing this other man because it hurt him, otherwise I was selfish and disrespectful. What I give to others is understanding...

Considering the fact that I don't agree with their agreement, try to put it the other way around: If I were the other woman, I would tell him that out of respect to me (Purpurea), him, and most of all, myself (the other woman), I would wait to ask him to give up sex with others until it...

I've thought about that myself. I think it's not, because, like I said, having sex with him is something that concerns him and me. It is his responsibility to tell her, because they made the agreement (without me, by the way)! It's between them. I'm only responsible to be honest with the people...

It's been a while since I wrote last. I visited him again and we didn't have sex this time. Still I'm not sure if she could handle seeing us kiss and cuddle all the time. I think he and she might have different definitions of "no sex", and that they should really talk about it. We also talked...

Redpepper, no, I'm not giving anyone karma. Karma just is. It sounds a little as if you think I would try to punish her. I wouldn't do that. It would be bad karma. I think everyone deserves the best. She asked him to be monogamous. He agreed. He had sex with me anyway, but thinks it was a...

Of course I deserve someone who treats me with 100% love. But does this situation or him keep me from finding someone else? Do I keep myself from it? In all cases: No. So why should I leave? Because it hurts? Well, as I said before, I'm the only one who is responsible for how I feel. If I left...

Why not? :cool: Thank you. :)

Thank you MrFarFromRight. I see what you mean, and I'm aware of that. I also found out that, in his mind, his relationship with her is connected with some things that are very important for his future. I don't want to go too much into detail. It has to do with some problem he has, and for him...

Well, she knew we had sex before, that's why she told him to become her boyfriend or she would leave. I'm quite sure, though, that she's not aware of how close we really are. I guess she thinks we were friends with benefits, and therefore she felt it was her right as his girlfriend to ask him to...

We had an interesting conversation today. He said that he needs me to get along with their relationship, and with her as a person too. I said I have no problems with that. The question would rather be if they got along with ME. Then he said that his main focus is on moving to where she lives and...

After I've learnt to deal with the feeling that he has chosen her over me, I think I could also deal with the feeling that he has someone else he is friends with. Right now he has a lot of issues with my reaction to his decision, and my opinion about it. That's why I said I'm aware of that I...

He will definitely tell her, that's for sure. I once thought myself it's better not to tell your partner that you cheated on him and deal with it on your own. But now I think it's manipulative, selfish and patronizing. You actually lie to your partner, he keeps thinking you never cheated on him...

I like your questions, redpepper. It seems as if you were pretty open-minded towards my views, even though you disagree with lots of them. Your questions also make me think again, that's great :) I was talking about our relationship in general, not the specific situation. Having sex is not...

I think it is indeed my responsibility to tell him my opinion about his behavior, and I have told him already that I think he should tell her right away. He rather wants to talk to her face-to-face than over the phone, which I understand. But that only works when you can see each other every...

Well, no, I'm actually not amused or flattered at all. I used that emoticon :rolleyes: to express irony, that in fact it's not working perfectly, at all. I think I've already pointed out why I consider this not to be my responsibility and why I chose the title. The fact is, we are no longer...

@Mono: I'm sorry that it makes you sad. I think I get your point, but I'm not sure if you really get mine. Treating others with love and respect is a very important value for me, if not the most important one. That means I do not take away things that belong to others, I do not harm anyone, and...

Why he picked her is simply because he didn't want to lose her in the first place. It has nothing to do with the distance. If I had been in her position, he would have done the same for me, he said. Which makes the whole thing a little extra absurd to me. I want to mention, though, that he...

I will talk to him again about it, I guess, as I think I haven't made my position clear enough yet. I also hope he will tell her the whole truth-- that the sex didn't just happen once, and that he really enjoyed it, and especially that he didn't do it because he was horny, but because he loves...

"You just haven't met the right person yet who can fulfill all your needs." My reply is that I don't want someone to fulfill my needs, as only I can do it. But sometimes I only reply: Yeah, maybe. :p