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Oh believe me, dinged, I know our issues are multi-dimensional. The anger and borderline emotional abuse started not long after our girls were born, and the bipolar diagnosis and subsequent treatment seemed to help a good bit. The trust issues came about after she had her affair. Our counselor...

Well, our date night turned out nice. During dinner, W talked about our counseling session the previous night. She took to heart the suggestion to find things to do with the girls she enjoys, and she put a lot of thought into that. She also is seriously considering spending less time around...

Welcome to the forums. Sorry you're a little confused and guilty. Part of what you're dealing with is NRE (New Relationship Energy) with your new partner. The NRE makes you bond with your new partner and that can make you feel as if he and he alone is the one for you, and can make you blind...

So here's what happened yesterday. I get home from work just in time to change clothes to get to my ballroom dance lesson. It's W's turn to take care of the kids. She picked them up from preschool at about 5:30. When I get back from dance class, at about 8:00pm, I see her in the kitchen. The...

I always think that direct, honest communication is the best way. Talk to her, let her know you want to be in the loop. All three of you sit down over some tasty beverages and talk and talk and talk until you're tired of talking. Let her begin to feel safe confiding in you as well. Let her...

You're not going to get any sympathy from me. I've been cheated on, and it sucks. It took a year of therapy, nights of no sleep, losing weight due to no appetite, and medication for depression. And countless hours lost from being with my children because of all the above. You can insist he...

I'm afraid we're going to have a philosophical difference here. Telling the husband helps ensure the affair doesn't re-occur, because affairs dwell in secrecy and darkness, and this helps bring it out into the harsh light of day. If I were the husband, I'd want to know. Plus, it's Hunny's...

How did "the talk" go? Sorry I didn't respond to your initial post. Have you made any decisions about your new love interest?

Welcome to the forums! I'm so sorry for what you're going through. There are some similarities to my situation, with some big differences. In my case, the wife and I had been married 13 years, had a couple of young childen, and had been involved in swinging for quite some time before we...

Welcome to the forums! So how is the relationship working for the three of you? Is it a triad or a V? How did you guys approach K with the idea of being in a relationship with you and J? Do you consider K a secondary, or do you see her as an equal partner? Any plans for children in the future?

Welcome to the forums. I like that your're visualizing your ideal world. It really helps to know what you want out of polyamory. The next step is actually trying to get it accomplished in the real world. How would you visualize broaching this subject with hubby? Would you just have a...

I'm glad things clicked with you and T. Maybe it'll be the same with M. You may have two wonderful paramours! Life is good. I'm sorry your hubby is not quite willing to be totally on board, but who knows, maybe things will change if he sees you are happier and getting all your needs met...

Welcome to the forums. I'm far from being the one to give you any advice, but wanted to let you know I'm in a similar boat. I even have a similar question thread over in the Fireplace forum. I feel your uncertainty, as I am feeling the same. I am the world's worst on reading women's feelings...

Thank you for coming to our forums. This is indeed a tough situation, and I can't offer you much advice, but I can perhaps offer a different perspective. This is still a pretty new relationship (4 months). Many secondaries struggle with their role, and are often apprehensive about possibly...

Tough questions. I urge you to look through some of the threads on this forum devoted to coming out vs. not coming out. I'm in a somewhat similar situation: We live in a very conservative area, we both agree to keep our poly arrangement very closeted, only a few friends know, and I'm a little...

BoringGuy: You're probably right. I should just ask. She's actually already met my wife on several social occassions, and met her new boyfriend, too, so she knows the deal. ManofDiscovery: Good stuff. I think maybe my lack of confidence in my dating skills is a big reason I've had fewer...

I don't think you're being controlling at all. You haven't done anything to be controlling. R feels neglected because of the decision by J to focus on repairing the damage he did to your marriage by the deceipt and betrayal of trust, and that's understandable, because she was unaware of the...

Although I'm active in the main forums, this question is really unrelated to that, so I thought maybe I'd post here. W has a serious boyfriend and has had some FWB's in the last year. I've had really one FWB in that time, and would love another, or even something LT. Now here's the question...

Welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've been cheated on (although it was before my poly days), but I imagine your pain and feelings of betrayal are every bit as severe as mine were. You never expect your soul-mate, the person who you depend upon to always be there for...

Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry your husband cheated on you, and while I commend you for looking within to discover ways you could have been a better partner, that in no way excuses your husband's affair. Secondly, this woman he is seeing seems to be dishonest and incapable of sticking to the...