Search results

Wow. This is a tough one for sure. I would hope some veteran with experience with these types of V relationships would step forward, as I don't have a lot to offer. I will say that I can sort of understand the BF's resistance to the change that you and fiance are undergoing. BF seemed to be...

It certainly seems there was some misunderstanding about what you as a couple were expecting of this other couple. Was there actually an agreement to be monogamous to each other (as a couple), or did they agree to not look for "new" couples, but reserved the right to continue to play with their...

Welcome to the forums. You say you've never been in a relationship, so I assume you mean a romantic relationship. And you're considering being a third in a polyamorus marriage? My gut instinct is to say "NO! Absolutely not! This is a bad idea. You need to discover what is important to you...

Welcome to the forums. I'm not entirely sure from your post if your GF is seeing other people, and this is what prompted you to post in a polyamory forum, but I'm going to assume she is at least flirting with (or with the idea) of seeing other people, and this is what is fueling your jealousy...

Well, I suppose if I put my foot down the choice will be hers, to continue a relationship I don't approve of, or discontinue it. In the first instance, I would go ahead and start talking with an attorney about divorce. In the second instance, I would have her re-commit to our relationship...

Well, everyone has a limit with what they're comfortable with, so yes, I would do that if she insisted on something I'm not comfortable with, like >24 hour stays, or spending more time with him than with me. Keep in mind polyamory is only polyamory if both spouses agree to it. Otherwise, it's...

When I said "crisis averted" I meant me having to put my foot down and potentially put an end to the polyamory if she didn't respect my limits in this regard. This time, she did respect them. That's what I was referring to.

I'm sorry things are not working the way you like in this relationship. It's frustrating to be with someone whom you don't feel comfortable expressing yourself. Quite often this is due to the other party being defensive (like this guy) and not validating your feelings. I go through this all...

Never is a long time. If you truly believe your husband will never entertain the idea, you do indeed have a lot of introspection ahead of you. That's a tremendous choice you would have to make. A soul-searching question would be: Am I truly the polyamorous sort, and really wish to share my...

Welcome to the forums. I'm happy that you've begun to be introspective about things, and I'm very glad you've made the decision to work on being more open and honest. That's something I strive for every day. It really does improve relationships, and it's pretty much essential in polyamory...

Well, we managed to come to an understanding this weekend, shifted some things around so she's only with him for about 24 hours. So crisis averted. W and her guy have started looking for a third person (presumably a woman) by signing up on the same site we used to use when we were swinging. I...

Well here we go again. W, knowing full-well that I'm not onboard yet with any stays over 24 hours with her guy, is testing my limits again. She wants to go with him to some kind of martial arts conference (he's a teacher) for 2 days. She texted me the question, with concessions like "I won't...

Sorry to be so harsh, but having been in the shoes of the cheated-upon, I have very little sympathy for you. From M's husband perspective, you're the "other man". You've cooked up a lot of rationalizations about how you're fine with that, but none of that is going to fly with him. He wants...

Because polyamory is new to you guys, you need to be really sensitive to Danny's needs now. He's trying to accomodate another lover for his wife, and this takes a lot of trust, time, commitment, and communication. I'm in the position that Danny is in now, so I totally relate to him. He needs...

Almost all people who have been hurt by affairs will tell you that what hurt worst is not the knowledge of the sex, but the lying, the covering of tracks, and the betrayal of trust. That's why these emotional affairs (EA) are every bit as bad, even worse, than physical affairs (PA). Although...

I'm sorry you're in this mess. It is obvious that this couple are not on the same page in regards to you. They are going to have to have some long, honest conversations about whether this polyamorous situation is right for them. It seems as if the guy is not really on board with this idea right...

Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry you're hurting, and I understand the doubt. When I read your post, I almost felt you were answering your own question. You talk about the jealousy and resentment that occur EVERY time your partner plays with another. Those feeling are deep-seated, I know...

Welcome to the forums. First of all, let me say I am so, so sorry about your illness. And I am so, so sorry for what your husband has done. There will be other, more experiened veterans along shortly to help you. I can only offer my perspective, which is only an opinion. Your husband has...

Well, the little surprise party worked out well. When we got home afterward she came over to my side of the bed and we cuddled and kissed before we fell asleep. The date night was fun, as I gave her birthday gifts, including a little necklace with her birthstone. We didn't mention the...

I think I have to agree with WhatHappenned. Your husband wants a monogamous marriage and you don't. I think until you sort that out yourselves, having the other guy in your home is going to poison your marriage. You would probably be doing everyone a favor by tossing him to the curb until 1)...