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kdt, you are so incredibly insightful. Are you sure you're not a trained psychologist? You seem better than the one we currently have. She actually mentioned last night she thought I was very resentful of her affair (even though I worked through that pretty well in the year or so of marriage...

Well, the thing about her going to see her guy tomorrow night is now moot, as he has agreed to have lunch with her, which she told me he was trying to arrange anyway, and agreed not to go see him tomorrow night if they have lunch together. She still texted me and was all pissy, with an attitude...

Now the latest: I had planned a date night for us (since I get one per week), and this week is her birthday, so I wanted our date night to fall on that day. We had made plans for dinner and a movie, and then to come back home and (hopefully) have some quality time before we dropped off to...

I sense that she knows it's a dealbreaker, although I haven't specifically said those words. I've already gone through the ordeal of expressing how difficult it was the day she was with him for 24 hours, and told her I not comfortable with her spending more time than that. And, as usual...

Well, to answer your question, yes, it is a dealbreaker if she were to actually do this. It is way too blatantly disrespectful for me to handle, especially after all I've agreed to let her do (probably more than 99.9% of men on the planet would agree to). If she continues to press this, I...

Things had been going much better between the two of us this last week, which was the first full-week of our new schedule we'd agreed upon. Today, while we having lunch, she started talking about her upcoming trip to Las Vegas with her mom, whom she is treating to this vacation as part of her...

Although W and I are still negotiating some of our rules, here is pretty much what we have so far: 1. We (meaning myself and the kids) always come first. Although this is a very vague statement, so far what we've meant it is we will always have more face time with her than her guy does, we'll...

When I bring up what meds she is taking or not taking, she gets very defensive. After the affair she went on Zoloft (which she also did after having the girls), to combat bipolar, which our counsellor suggested could have something to do with her being hypersexual during her "manic" phase...

W and I had a discussion today at lunch where we disagreed on how much we tell our 5 year-old girls about her relationship with her guy. Now that we've agreed on a schedule, W is going to be going to her guy's house 4 times every two weeks. She'll be leaving before the girls go to bed and not...

Well, we settled on a schedule I think I can live with for now. I studied it carefully and I'm getting more face-time than her guy, and the children are getting more face-time, so we're going to try it for a while. I agreed to try it with a couple of HUGE caveats: If it becomes too much for me...

We had a first attempt at creating a schedule last night. It was a good start, but I can't really say it went well. She wants WAY too much time with him, in my opinion. Basically spending the night with him four nights/week (overnight), on week 1, then three nights/week (but not overnight)...

I was wondering if I could get my thread http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35399 moved over to the General section since it's at 32 posts and pretty well past the introductory phase?

I just now called her up to ask her to have lunch with me, and she's in her guy's town, "having lunch" with him. This is 9 hours after she left him at 3:00 this morning. She apologized profusely. She never said anything to me about these plans. So now, after promising me she was only going to...

It sounds like you three have all handled this in a very mature and responsbile manner. Kudos to you all! Maybe down the road you can revisit the idea with husband, but it was wise of him to ask for time, and wise of you to give it.

Well, we had our first couples counseling session last night, via Skype. We had some technical difficulties and couldn't get the video to start from our end at first. The counselor couldn't see us. But I think it was a good start. We both told the counselor we were committed to making this...

Welcome to the forum! You've done a very smart thing by coming here, as you'll find veterans that will give you wonderful advice. They'll be along shortly. I'm not going to do that right now, because this situation is so different than mine, but in the meantime, read all of information of...

The rest of the night was spent lying in bed and talking, crying, listening, and baring our souls. The kind of thing that is hard for most men, including me. But I did it because I am committed to making this relationship work. W said she waffles back and forth between: A) Doing the “easy”...

I'm glad Sweetie is doing the honorable thing. It's pretty hard to be very rational when you're in the grips of NRE, because it's sort of seduces you into that mindset of loving the fantasy, hating the reality, and coming up with lots of reasons not to try to make things work. Of course...

Last night was one of those nights that started early, ended late (2 am), involved much sharing, crying, and soul searching, which was gut-wrenching and painful, but somehow ended on a positive note. Maybe this whole “emotional honesty and communication” thing is the right way to go, after all...

Here's some of my thoughts on the matter. Keep in mind that I have my own problems, so take my thoughts as simply my own and not in any way suggestions you should act on. It's very common for people to change their mind and backtrack on any "agreements" they had. Emotions are indeed a...