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Welcome. This is wonderful resource, and I hope you take advantage of all the wonderful veterans on these boards. It's great to communicate with people who have actually been-there, done-that. It's also a great way to get to know your own feelings, by the constant journalizing of your...

We had a long talk about scheduling and how last week she spent 4 nights with her guy (every other night) and all were overnights. She assured me that because her guy has his teenage son every other week, and it's very difficult to meet during the week he has his son, this coming week they...

I need to ask a very sensitive question. I hope it won't come to this, but I have thought about it. Suppose the counsellor suggests ending the poly relationship until we have worked out our own issues. I know this wouldn't go over well with W. Her guy would probably agree, though, because he...

Thanks for the encouragement and the words of wisdom. I am grateful. Our first counselling session is Tuesday night, and because it's a 30-minute Skype session, I want to be well prepared so as to get as much out of it as I can. I figure I'll cover our history leading up to the decision to...

Sorry you're feeling lonely. I understand, because I've been in your shoes of dealing with your partner's new partner, and dealing with all that NRE. In my case, it's even more frustrating because my W is doing all this stuff with her guy, and totally refusing to be intimate with me. I'm...

We had a little issue last night. W asked to go see her guy last night (after getting home from work at about 8:30), which would've been the third night this week (basically every other day). I didn't feel like arguing or trying to make a point, so I just agreed, even though my heart was...

Well, my meeting with the guy went much better than expected. It was a little awkward at first, but after we had a little beer and pizza the conversation really started to flow. We talked about our histories and what we wanted from the future, and he assured me he was comfortable being in a...

One more quick question: When I meet this guy tonight, should I tell him that W and I are not having sex, or should I leave that for W and me to work on? I feel the NRE between them is at least partially responsible for that, but should I mention it at all? I don't want to seem controlling...

Thanks for the input. I always appreciate getting advice from those that have been in the trenches, so to speak. W and I are currently researching some poly-friendly counsellors. I am going to work hard at getting the spark back into our relationship. I think we have some issues that most...

W has moved back into the bedroom. That's a good sign. I'm meeting her guy tomorrow night, and I have some questions for you veterans. Should I mention her affair back in 2010? She hasn't told him about that. Also, should I bring up her bi-polar and depression issues? Again, he doesn't...

Not much has changed since my last post. We decided to take marriage counselling from a counsellor in California via Skype who not only has had a lot of experience counselling poly folks, he's also been a poly person himself. I hope it helps. I'm getting awfully frustrated with W spending so...

The last few weeks I've been using the 180, from Michele W. Davis's "Divorce Busting" book or website. And I've noticed a change. My wife is less angry, she's starting to be more polite to me, and she's even said "I love you" a couple of times on the phone. She's still staying in the guest...

Thanks for all your help. We've arranged to do counselling with a poly-friendly counsellor. This person is far away, though, so we'll have to do it via Skype. Which I think is fine. We live in pretty small conservative community. My wife's behavior began to change a lot five years ago...

Well, things have taken an ugly turn. I really need some good advice from the veterans. After we got back from our cruise, my wife immediately asked to spend two straight nights with her guy, which I reluctantly agreed to, because she had been with me for seven straight days. My attempts...

Hello, all. I am a newbie to this lifestyle, although I have lurked in these forums for years. Here's my history. My wife and I married 15 years ago. A few years after our wedding, we started playing around with a couple that my wife had been friends with since high school. She had actually...