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Derrick is going between saying he "misunderstood" or "misinterpreted" the boundaries, to saying that he was deliberately looking for a loophole so he created one by telling himself it was all okay since it wasn't physical with the other women. He has confirmed that in addition to the current...

Thank you all for your responses. It helps to not feel like I am overreacting or I am the only one that would not define those behaviors as flirting. To address a question asked to me - I don't actually feel any of my requested boundaries are unfair since he chose to agree to them when we...

I have very few boundries/guidelinese I have requested of my husband on our poly journey. I think they are pretty reasonable. 1. No dating/sex/etc with folks from our book club (it accounts for 90% of our socialization and I am afraid of drama) 2. Not to Top/Dom anyone else (conversely I don't...

So, tomorrow night I have a "date" with Marty. Quotation marks because we're getting our sons together to play while we watch a movie and Kitty does whatever she'd like to do (watch the movie with us, or her own thing). My son has been asking to see his son for a couple weeks now and I've...

Oh don't get me wrong. I do "PDA" stuff in front of the kids. But I'm very huggy with many of my friends so I don't see it as a big deal I suppose. As I said in my post though, my kids are very young and don't question such things. When they get to be teens they may well have questions. But...

I guess I don't understand why the "kids, we're poly" topic had to come up at all. But then, my kids are only 2 & 4. I just don't see how the fact I'm poly, or bi, or anything else pertaining to my romantic and sexual life is any of my kids business. When my boyfriend comes over, it's no...

Ha! I wouldn't be surprised... will have to see how that goes! I dropped a random email to a man that I used to be in a gaming group with. The group itself ended kinda badly due to drama between my husband and another member, so I've mostly lost touch with my old gaming friends. I'm uncertain...

Hi nycindie - thanks for your comments, I always appreciate them. I have actually started being open to the idea of dating someone else, and have taken some small actions in that direction. At this point, my hope is to keep Marty in my life in a much more relaxed way. Similar to your concept...

well I'm a spammy blogger today. I just found out that Marty is hanging out with an ex and they are taking his son/her daughter out and about to the park and etc today. Cue the green eyed monster. My paranoid, overthinking, pessimistic mind immediately leaps to, maybe this is why he's so...

So glad to hear things are going so well for you. :) I've really enjoyed reading your entire blog, start to finish. Your honesty about the realities of being a secondary has been very helpful and inspirational for me. (figured it was time to leave a comment after all the reading I've done)

As I debate whether or not to go see Marty for our "scheduled" time this evening, it occurs to me that really, I don't want that much. I want to feel wanted. I miss the enthusiasm he had from the beginning of our relationship. His total ambivalence towards if we see each other or not (at...

The talk, part two, never happened. Every thing under the sun has happened to interfere with possible plans -- babysitters cancelling, illness, work schedule changes, etc. We finally had the talk, part 1.5, today via text message (which I HATE for anything important), and what I'm getting is...

Re: the example in which someone cheats because their spouse has a debilitating disease and they need to fulfill their sexual needs... no, that doesn't make it okay to me at all. I think that would be pretty awful, to be going behind your spouse's back because you don't want to hurt them but...

Absolute deal breaker.

Sometimes being a compassionate partner sucks big time. And sometimes the humbling reminder that not everything - and in fact, very little - has to do with one's self is necessary. But it still sucks. Whine whine whine etc.

Cindie, thank you. I'm actually still mulling over what I can take from your post, as well as a conversation I had with hubby yesterday.

I am so tired. This having a talk halfway finished and having to wait four days to conclude it is incredibly stressful. Part of me just wants a resolution no matter what it is so I can stop stressing over how it is going to go. I am cautiously optimistic that he wouldn't have asked me for The...

Thanks, Annabel. I'd actually like to clarify that statement. I don't think anyone here is being judgemental. I need to be careful to read my posts a bit better when I am this tired. To be honest I'm judging myself a bit. I recognize it is my fault this has gone on as long as it has because...

So that I don't have to retype, I will link to a thread I made in a different section of this community this week: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23695 I will be back later to blog more in depth about the conversation last night, as well as my thoughts on it.

To give a short update: As always, last night didn't go how I expected. But we did talk. Or at least we had what I am calling The Talk part 1. I got how I've been feeling out on the table and got his explanation for it. He has been holding himself back - on purpose - out of fear that if he...