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Stripped of the finer distinctions of knowing/not knowing, wanting to know, not wanting to know, etc., I think this sentence hits home for me: "You masturbate into me and I'll masturbate using you." I'm not sure if this is necessarily "casual," but this gets to the heart of recent ethical...

Loneliness. It's definitely up for me now. My separated other and I have been apart for a few months and living alone for almost a month. It seems like not very much time. I think I am coming up against my love addiction. I realize it may be disturbing and annoying to talk about a "love...

In typical Miles fashion, this segment follows the very sinister, murky and slightly deranged Great Expectations. You don't get dessert until you've had the mystery stew! :-) Immaterial

This is a wonderful, erotic thread. It's interesting to read it from beginning (flirtation and foreplay) to end (thundering whole body orgasms), with a few blow jobs and some cunnilingus, handjobs and soaked towels strewn along the way. I'll endeavor to bring everyone down with a few...

It's purdy, ain't it? And somewhat more spooky and meditative than a lot of Miles. I think it's written by Joe Zawinul. The tamboura and berimbau are a great couple of sounds. Some of the chords are wonderful suspensions. The song reminds me of tripping, actually, especially on psilocybin...

Yesterday I spent a lot of time recording sound files for a music project some friends and I are doing, inlcuding listening to a fairly obscure Miles Davis piece called Orange Lady several times. Then I headed out for one of the few redeeming cultural events in my city, an art walk that happens...

I think we are often at risk for making expedient, self-serving decisions. Polyamory is not a magic bullet that suddenly makes me transparent, 100% consistently ethical, honest, willing to face pain to stay in integrity, etc. I lived for many years in a wide variety of profound self-delusions...

Lots to digest here, grateful for the conversation. I will say that my path toward self-acceptance has been surprising! I have not at all expected to embrace my non-monogamy nor my polyamorous leanings. (By the way, does anyone else find it humorous that the site does not recognize...

Ah, Claire, I love your analytic mind. It's got a very Virgo, detail-oriented quality. Maybe rising or moon or mercury? Anyway, yes, excellent points all. My sig other has much experience in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and has helped me understand the difference between observing/describing...

started a new thread on this topic here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=34415#post34415 Immaterial

I have been interested in judgment and diagnosis over the past several years, especially as regards sexual behavior, but also relationship life. I started to hijack one of the blogs here and figured I'd just continue this conversation in a separate thread. I'm particularly interested in...

Thanks for your post, Sorcha. The disease of alcoholism/addiction ravages many lives in different ways. The magic of it: it also leads people to their higher selves, to an awakening into undreamed-of possibilities. I think many of my relationship decisions were based on the idea that the...

I took the dating personality test at OkCupid and got The Bachelor. What I thought was funniest was this line: "It’s as if you believe in monogamy, so long as it’s with lots of different people." Something sort of like that, actually. Immaterial

anyway, sorry to hijack your blog ak, and what a remarkable series of stories it is! I have learned tons reading through all 12 pages, much appreciated. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.... Immaterial

Sage, I think it's beautiful that you don't think there's anything wrong with you. Was there a time when you did? Thanks MG. Less than helpful things my significant other was told when she wanted to separate after I told her I was poly and non-mono: - If you really loved him, you'd stay...

Poly people can be successfully monogamous, as polyamory is not non-monogamy. It seems interesting to me, however, that loving many but being sexually focused on only one can be done. I have never been able to do that. Of course, I am an admitted non-monogamist, however. This is a bit garbled...

It's so interesting to read all of these thoughts and feelings and experiences. I thank all of you who are so boldly honest and communicative. One constant thread is that poly, non-monogamous and mono people here are all expressing the idea that they either went through or still do go through...

I feel great compassion for you. It sounds like there is a lot of suffering in this thing. I will be interested to hear what comes next. In addition to some excellent advice from some of the more experienced members here, I would add that perhaps you and your husband are more interested in...

A book called Christianity and Eros by Philip Sherrard made a big difference in my thinking a long time ago. It's back in print now after having been out of print for a long time. It has little to say about non-monogamy or polyamory, but it did offer a springboard for me to understand the...

Just my .02 of course but I agree with Red Pepper. I'm consciously choosing polyamory and non-monogamy precisely so that I am finally free to be completely honest. If my honest reality is not acceptable to a potential new partner, then so be it. I don't want to do the complicated dance anymore...