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It depends on a lot of factors, but the limit of primaries for any situation is eight. I can prove this with with a fairly simple equation... Actually, I'm pretty terrible at math, and that was all bullshit. Well, except for the "many factors" part; that's probably true. For me personally, I...

I apologize if this is starting to look like a blog thread. It may look that way, but it is specific to the issue I originally raised. Since the last post, there have been some discussions and a few arguments. Also, to make it easier, I will refer to the guy as Tom, and the girl as Rachael...

There's a difference between "difficult and worth it" and "impossible." Relationship-wise, a lot of times... actually, I'd go so far as to say most of the time, people try to "make it work" when they're just not compatible. The belief that "love conquers all" and all that. The truth is, love...

I think a lot of this has to do with societal perception. Which is, men are supposed to be way more into sex than women. If a woman's sex drive isn't as active as her partner(s) would like, it's thought of as normal and something they just have to accept. Whereas, if a man's sex drive isn't...

That's the quickest I've ever seen anyone go from "How do I make this work?" to "yeah, I should get out" in this kind of situation. You're right, you're not an idiot. :) As for feeling guilty about it, I understand. I've been manipulated with guilt many times, and it took a long time to break...

"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty... I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well." --Theodore Roosevelt

I agree. However, emotions can be handled stupidly, or in ways that are less stupid. Doing whatever one's emotions demand without a second thought; pretty stupid. Trying to understand one's emotions and attempting to balance them with reason, less stupid.

My mother knows, me brother knows, and a few of my friends know. My friends that don't know, and most of my family that doesn't know is mostly because it just hasn't come up yet. Some would approve, others not so much, but overall it wouldn't matter and nothing would really change. The only...

The simple answer? People are stupid. Without exception. And yes, I'm including myself in this. Everyone is stupid at one point or another. In my experience, the more intelligent someone is, the greater the stupidity that person is capable of. People delude themselves into thinking they...

Wow. If I was the kind of person that told other people what to do, I'd say run from this situation. Run, and don't look back! However, you are your own person, and you need to make your own decisions. Therefore, I won't tell you to get out of it. Still, this situation is bad. Your...

"Friend with benefits" is redundant. All friendships have benefits. Not necessarily sexual benefits, but there are benefits. We all know what it means, that's how euphemisms work. Friendships in themselves are love. Friendships with sex are another kind of love. Sex, of course, is sex.

I use the word "friend." It's the best description I can come up with. In my personal philosophy, there's very little difference between what one usually thinks of as friendship and romance. To me, friendship is the strongest bond there is. Romance seems to me to be too often more about...

Inherently, no, there's nothing wrong with dating a partner's friend. About the only general rule in polyamory is that dishonesty is bad. Everything else is up to the individuals involved to determine for themselves. Considering you started this thread, I take it you're concerned your partner...

^ That has occurred to me. It sounds exactly like something he would do. I don't think they planned it together. When I was talking to her last night, it seemed like she thinks the only way her and I could be more than "really good friends" is if she left him for me. After we had talked I...

The main reason I became polyamorous is this: I am an adult, and I exclusively date other adults. Adults are able to make their own decisions, and run their lives as they see fit. Invasion of privacy to me comes off as disrespectful, controlling. I feel I'm being treated like a child. In...

Well, I talked to the girl earlier. Part of this issue might be solved. The guy is a little worried that I like her too much. She is too. Not in that she doesn't feel similarly toward me, or that laving her would be crossing a boundary... they're worried that I want her to leave him for me...

^ Yeah, it really ties the whole room together.

^ I'd do that, but then all my friends would start calling me "The Dude." It's just not worth it. Although, they've called me worse things. It might be worth it.

^ No, there's nothing in there about having to wear pants. I always check because, apparently, my perception of social situations where pants are expected is off. How was I supposed to know pants are expected at things like weddings and job interviews? No one told me! I also figured that...

With all this talk about multiple times in one night, I was thinking "I've only ever managed once a night, I'm feeling inadequate now." However, I need clarification on something. In, for example, the following situation: Go at it for 20 minutes or so, take a ten-minute break, move to a...