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Nothing you could have said proves my point any more plainly than this. You don't get to decide how or what constitutes "the way things are". And I fail to see how my post was a "personal attack". In fact it is laughable when your entire post was set up to characterize those of us who...

While this may be true...the entire post following this opening statement not only reveals an extreme bias towards what YOU consider to be the only true form of poly, it is almost dripping in its condescension and smug superiority. Speaking as one who has lived in an incredibly satisfying poly...

I totally get this. In exactly the same fashion I could never be with someone who is a Clinton supporter. Suffice it to say you and I would never find ourselves in the same poly group...LOL.

For us "rules" are not about trust. We trust each other already. We have agreed to exclusivity not because we don't trust each other at all. It represents what we desire our poly relationship to entail. It is what we are able to bring in other words. We all have limits of what we desire or...

Interesting post for sure. My wife and I are in a poly relationship with another married couple that is very much as you describe. We have been intimate for 10 1/2 years now and it is awesome. I understand your desire for such a friendship. We are at this point fully committed to each other...

I agree Tinwen. I like the simpler definition of polyamory the best. Wikipedia does a pretty good job with the definition. "Polyamory is typically the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships where individuals may have more than one partner, with the knowledge and consent of all...

This is likely true for many in closed groups like ours. I don't really think that is the case for us. We live in a small mid western community. I believe we would be very comfortable around other poly people. But we don't know any. Our relationship is not open to the public. We're not...

It comes from our needs of course. Our insecurities, our desires, our group dynamic. It is simply who we are. I think this need to be authentic to self is important for success in all types of relationships. I don't in any way think exclusivity is required for poly to be successful. I do...

Oh no...we definitely have an exclusivity agreement. We are as committed to it as any traditional married couple. In fact cheating (which is what it would be since we have agreed to remain exclusive) would be as harmful as in any relationship.

I would say it is more about not having the desire to be otherwise. For us poly happened naturally and we did not seek it out. Our relationship is not really about being poly nearly so much as it is about us simply being in love and open to it. I imagine each of the four of us would be...

I agree. For sake of conversation I am part of a "closed" quad consisting of two married couples and we have all been in this poly relationship for 10 1/2 years. (Wonderful years and not open to exploring outside the four of us) We are closed because that is what we desire. I'm not labeling...

We are a closed poly quad (2 married couples) who are at 10 1/2 years. We had our ups and downs in the first couple three years and the occasional flare up for another couple three years and have been remarkably stable and strong for at least 5 years now. Like all relations whether 2 or...

Still Here... Was reviewing this thread and wanted to say...we celebrated 10 years as a quad and are stronger than ever. Life is good.

Great question. For us swinging or a swinging mindset was never part of the equation and is not something we presently consider. Our relationship evolved out of a very strong foundational friendship. None of us was looking for partners in a poly mindset because none of us were or even knew we...

Would be happy to share more. Ask anything you think might be helpful. We came from a fundamental religious background so we had the ethical questions that came up a couple of times. we are still believers...but have found MUCH freedom scripturally for our lifestyle that that is no longer an...

Cool. Posted a question to you over there.

Sounds like we have much in common. Curious...were you and your husband open to the idea of poly before becoming intimate with your friends or did the relationship change your thinking?

My introduction and more details are in the introductions folder. http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25742 We did not seek out a poly relationship but fell into it through mutual attraction. We feel extremely blessed as each of us is deeply in love with 2 spouses. No one is...

I am curious if there is still anyone here watching this thread. My wife and I are in a very successful poly quad with another married couple who were our best friends prior. We have been together as a quad for nearly 6 years now and have worked through various issues and hurdles and now...

We were already best friends with the other couple and the more time we spent together the more our sexuality became natural to talk about. gradually the talk turned to humor, which turned to playfulness, which turned to increased openness and eventually downright flirty behavior between the 4...