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Dear God woman! Slow down, will ya? Don't make me come over there and tether you to that Lazy Boy! Oh wait, you'd probably enjoy that. :{ Arg! Just be good! ;)

Proud of my man I've been intentionally quiet the past few days, letting Stewy introduce himself to all of you and add his contribution to the thread. It became clear while we were working through our issues, that my first post was, in fact, dead on. But when I saw everyone's reaction...

He didn't fully understand his responsibilities the first time that he took advantage of my willingness to violate my own boundaries. He had a better understanding the second time. But both times, he lacked the ability and experience to accurately weigh the consequences. Agreed. I can expect...

Very perceptive! You are correct, there is still a bond and love between us. It has not lessened or been threatened on his side of the relationship, at all. On my side, it has sustained a lot of damage, but we have stopped that damage and are working to repair it. Repairing the connection...

This is where there's an odd dynamic that requires a lot more explanation. I am extremely familiar with the cycle of abuse and have already recognized it somewhat in our marriage. But it is much more subtle than one would expect. It is based more around him insisting that I put his needs above...

Clarification, introspection and revalations... Yes, and no. After much reflection and discussion with him about how we'd started in the poly world, I had expressed that I didn't want casual, short-term relationships. He agreed. We initially only considered taking relationships to a sexual...

Still here... I'm processing everyone's posts. So is my husband. Please don't think we're ignorning the thread, will respond soon!

He's devastated and fears it means the end of our marriage. He recognizes now what he did, what it did to me, and what he/we have lost in our marriage because of it. The bond he and I had during sex was sacred to him, yet at the same time, he didn't recognize that it was no longer there for me.

Thank you! Have a good class. :)

LOL! At least you managed to make it for a few minutes! So you succeeded for awhile. You're right, it did start within the marriage. That's an excellent point. Why that didn't occur to me is beyond me... I guess that's why we needed to post it here. We're too close to it to see what's in front...

LR, I should qualify my post by saying that the one thing we both agree on is that repairing the bond between us is the priority. We have spent the better part of the last 24 hours contemplating the "what if's..." What if it can only be repaired outside our marriage? What if it can't be...

Background: I have *always* been an extremely sensitive, emotionally intuitive person. I have always reserved sexual interaction for individuals with whom I feel a deep attraction and "chemistry," and with whom I have developed a preliminary bond. I also prefer to have developed (or at least...

Anamchara Getting back to the topic of soul friends... I would love to know more about the ritual where Anamchara acknowledge and reinforce their bond. There are always those people in our lives with whom the bond goes far deeper than mere friendship. I always end up refering to them as a...

My heart breaks for you Jools! And for little Samson... I've endured my own losses in my life, but nothing can compare to the loss of a child. And there are no words that bring comfort... only that connection in your heart that over time turns from poignant agony to bitter sweet tears. May that...

Welcome fellow Alaskan! I'm a little slow catching up on here... but welcome nonetheless!

I'd like that Anam Cara definition you found framed & hanging on my wall LR! So cool that it sparked a GOOD conversation between you & Maca. :)

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy Russian mystic & novelist (1828 - 1910)

First thought... I think the other part of this is the idea of being able to give without the expectation of reciprocation. So many people are willing to give... to a point. They will give out positive energy, forgiveness, money, time etc. until such point as they believe they are owed...

Beautiful doesn't describe it. Finally, something that describes how I feel about my friendship with you!!! :o

Swinging vs. Poly Legion, we started out looking for a swinger-ish arrangement. However, "swinging" implies casual sex to me... something I've never been comfortable with. My philosophy is (and has ALWAYS been... even since teenager-hood) that sex is about intimacy. If I just wanted an...