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I can't believe that after thinking it so many times I haven't actually commented about how sorry I am about your mother. It is good to hear that she feels hopeful, I wish that everything will be fine in time. Take care.

I was also going to write about another thing. I love, and couldn't function in another way, how me and Alec live together. We are two independent persons, with our own, quite separate lives in separate spaces, but we do come together daily for some time together. If not agreed otherwise, we eat...

It has certainly been interesting for me as well. This is a new experience for me, a partner having a new interest. While I have been non-monogamous for the past four years, Alec hasn't had any activity with others during that time, and neither has Mya since we've been together (besides JJ but...

The first statement seems like the perfect non-accusatory communication. The second is where the problem comes in. Falling into a self-hate spiral any time partner brings something up is just unhealthy for all involved. And it is not taking responsibility of your actions, nor is it having good...

I am glad you came here, too, Vanilla, since it is good to get both of your takes from the situation. I wonder, do either of you see the ways in which both of you are acting passive-agressive? And the co-dependence you both are contributing to? Does it feel loving to you? What about the...

Isn't it ironic: there's him, thinking "she is such an incredible magical creature, I don't get what she sees in me, she deserves somebody better than I am" and there's you, thinking "he is a wonderful person, he deserves something better than what I can offer, a monogamous relationship with...

Oh no, we are happy as clams. One-bedroom flat for three people, what more could you want? :p Well, we make do with that, but it sure is nice this time to take a break from that and share a hotel room with Mya alone. :) In an N there's a bonus in that even if you are a hinge of a V, you are a...

Oh cool, I would totally love that kind of workshop. Have a good time! Hopefully you'll be able to have a date sometime in not too distant future. I wonder about your hesitation with Davis: as things are right now, do you feel your connection and relationship is satisfying? Does your hesitation...

I can sometimes feel stressed being the hinge, too (particularly in a group of four where there are so many dynamics). Maybe I should try alcohol to give myself a break, hah! :D

^I wasn't trying to say anything about this particular dream of yours, I just got the feeling that you didn't think it was the most realistic/likely? (Still, unrealistic doesn't make something silly, it's perfectly fine to dream about things that may not happen). Anyway, I will now stop giving...

It's so confusing that it's actually for once me pointing out that not all emotions are logical. :p [Usually goes the other way around.] Maybe that feeling will change someday. But I am also not sure I could live with partners or metamours exactly as I would with roommates. I hope that just...

Yes, you did write that very clearly, and I didn't mean to imply or say in any way that you should stop thinking or writing about it! I was just more pondering to myself (out loud, or well out visibly when it's writing), if I should just try to take your dreams as they are, as dreams, so that I...

Dream away, girl! :p I don't wish to take your fun away, but I do want to comment on the points you made. To a, I do manage to have my own space even in a two-people setting, there's no reason you couldn't. Obviously, Dream City is an expensive place to live in, so financial considerations...

It's so good to hear you've finally got your own place. I think that's a very healthy move. Good luck in the new setting, I'm sure things will be loads better. :)

^I enjoyed planning that, so glad you're happy :) <3 I feel a push to write, since I really do want to update about the everyday life, since that is what I most enjoy in life. Even more than analysing everything to death, believe it or not. :D I just don't know what to write. Everything is...

I ran into a writing that you might find interesting :) Package deals in polyamory

I think there might be a philosophical difference between you and Bee. It feels like she sees her and Jay very much as two separate individuals. They share what they have decided to share, and some of those are big things like childraising and home. But she still seems to want quite separate...

I went straight to reading the article, and I was actually going to bring this bit back but you'd done it already I so totally agree with that. That is also what I do, and I think that is one of the reasons why poly hasn't been too difficult: I have managed multiple loving relationships in my...

Holy crap, do I ever disagree! I don't know if you mean that literally as strongly as you wrote it... I hope not. But if that is done by one person in the relationship, it leads to them sacrificing to the point of resentment or feeling like they don't know themselves anymore. If it's done by...

I want to say first that I understand where you're coming from and you're not unreasonable in what you want. :) I will try to look at the situation from a perspective that focuses on what you can do. Please don't feel like I'm putting all the responsibility on you, I do think both Jay and Bee...