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Good for you! That's great :)

Despite this being a thread intended for thoughts and experiences more than a discussion, I'd like to address this the reason I disagree with this is not because there aren't people who claim to live by that ideal and fail to do so (whether intentionally or not). The reason is that this line...

It is sometimes strange to be so completely open in a relationship. I think the reason I often go to "should I have even talked about this at all?" is because it goes against some cultural norms. Culturally, you are supposed to shield your partner from pain. You shouldn't hurt your partner...

I'll try some analogies that come to mind in trying to define the issue. Imagine you were single. Your single friends had loads of dates, but you had none. Would you feel similar feelings of resentment? Possibly. What do you think would help there? Probably the last thing you would consider is...

I don't know if ultimatum/veto is the way to go. I am in general pretty anti-veto, but I also think you will have to make decisions that are right for you. I just wonder if it is going to bring what you seek. In the best case scenario, you issue an ultimatum and he chooses you. What does that...

Thanks NyCindie and Cleo, good to know that apparently it's not just me who's hit by this kind of irrationality from time to time. :D --- I've got so many things I'm happy about right now. Totally overwhelmed by joy, in fact. :) Alec starting work has brought two really big benefits: - our...

I was totally "awwww" reading that <3 I can see, though, how it could bring up quite conflicting emotions.

In case you were wondering, it is these kind of remarks (besides the gift stuff others have commented on) that give the sexist wibe. The assumption that if somebody's gonna not want to have sex, it will be the woman; and the basic thing where going on a date or accepting an invitation to spend...

Noticed an interesting interaction today: me: so when do you want to meet again? Mya: how about Friday? me thinking: oh cool actually Friday is good cause I could maybe stay until afternoon or so cause I probably won't have too much to study and also that will leave me still time left to spend...

I find it somewhat unattractive when somebody approaches the pursuit of sexual/romantic partners like a science. It feels to me as if I'm being approached as a representative of my gender, not as a person. With the whole "in the dating world this will not work" and "my only really obvious...

I'm sorry for what you're going through... :( I'm trying to think of an explanation to the message, but all the alternatives do really suck. It could be true, and he just hasn't told you (yet). Or it could be he's saying that to please her, i.e. that is what she is expecting to hear from him...

Reflections, thoughts. Coupledom, as it seems to be understood and practiced by many. I often have conflicted feelings about reading a solo poly blog over here: http://solopoly.net/ On one hand, I totally support the aims of the blog (e.g. awareness and deconstruction of couple priviledge) and...

Mya laughed at my description of by-monthly thing. A number of reasons. Apparently it's bimonthly. And, apparently there is a controversy whether it means twice a month or every two months. I meant the latter. Also, seemingly two visits is not yet a big enough sample to draw that conclusion. :D...

Hmm. This made me think. I agree with you that the concrete thing - dessert - is probably not a big deal. Still, I can see how that situation would be one where it is totally reasonable to have some confusion/jealousy. I mean, it does come across like he first suggests something to you (his...

Mya is coming to visit me and Alec. Fun! :) It's becoming maybe something of a by-monthly thing, and I like that. I so much enjoy that, being in the same city, all group time is 100% optional. That has a huge psychological effect on me, because it rids me of any responsibility I feel about...

Thank you Jane, NyCindie, and fuchka for your responses. I really appreciate them! :) I don't feel like thinking about that lack of energy stuff too much right now, but I want to write about one realisation I had. I notice that it is sometimes hard to express my needs not really because I fear...

I was also thinking along these lines. Does he see different people or same? I would not suggest DADT or anything like that, but maybe it could be enough for you to know what he does, in general, without the need to be always told about the specifics or not necessarily right away. For example...

I actually disagree with both of these things. Not that those can't work for some but definitely wouldn't work for me or be something I would advice. To the first, I don't see why I couldn't share with a new person the basic fact that my partner is feeling insecure. Moreover, if you're trying...

Classy :rolleyes:

In NRE it is common to be distracted from everything else in life and feel like you're only able to think about this cool new person you met. I find it good to make some space and time for that feeling, but also to balance it out by making the effort to be really present in other things you do...