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  1. rory

    Redpepper's journey

    I think the timing has to do with having had such a tiring weekend. For me at least tiredness can definitely be a factor that raises unpleasant feelings, even if it is the result of most wonderful time I've had. The event sounds great, good job! :)
  2. rory

    Sharing Details of Relationships/Sex

    I wouldn't put all the responsibility on the more open person. They should be thoughtful and ask before sharing details, but the person who doesn't want anything shared should communicate that clearly. I also don't think it's automatically the more private person whose wishes are the ones...
  3. rory

    play vs ? partners, boundary equality

    Annabel put the whole situation very clearly. What I would do in your position is try to change my perspective. There is a pattern here that you are not satisfied with: you both agreeing to strict boundaries when he has no other interests and him breaking them (or trying to change them) when he...
  4. rory

    the story of a secondary

    Don't have advice, but take care.. *hugs*
  5. rory

    Poly journey of Mya and rory

    ^Yep, it's cool!! :) Me and Alec are flying to Home Country for a couple of weeks tomorrow. He'll spend most of the time with his family, who I'll visit, too, but I'll also meet many friends and go visit Mya and JJ. I probably won't be much on the Internet while there, but I'll see you all...
  6. rory

    the story of a secondary

    Sounds excellent. :)
  7. rory

    So far, so good!

    That's the thing! I do this kind of thing a lot with Mya. It's not the case that everything is so complex that it needs to be analysed - it's more that it's fun to examine aspects and whys and all of that. :p I actually came across 'spoken word' recently and quite liked it (a friend sent me a...
  8. rory

    Poly journey of Mya and rory

    Oh, sorry! :) Haven't had the energy to write (full time volunteering) and don't have that much now, but I'll update the news. It is looking very much like me and Alec will be moving to Dream City soon, after all!! I got into a very good university there, so I won't be too sad about leaving...
  9. rory

    Poly journey of Mya and rory

    Thank you for the comments! Writing and getting feedback has felt extremely helpful. :) I feel much more clarity about what I am happy with, and what needs to change. Phy I definitely agree with you about the aspect of our financial agreements being something all parties have agreed to. That...
  10. rory

    Phy's story - as you like it

    I can't really relate to the difficulty of saying 'I love you'. I'm curious, once you say it for the first time, does it then become easier? :)
  11. rory

    Poly journey of Mya and rory

    I don't think I have ever been as stressed out as I am right now. Well, ever when adult. I fluctuate between feeling calm and feeling panicked. Tends to go towards the panic the later in the day it gets. I am so afraid of so many things. This has an effect on relationship life; the fear gets...
  12. rory

    Polyamory: Why is it not immoral?

    I would start by asking him why he thinks poly is immoral. Just to get him thinking beyond "just feel it is". And then tackle the points, i.e. say where you disagree and why. To me, there is nothing immoral about it since everybody involved know what is going on and have agreed. I define...
  13. rory

    Poly journey of Mya and rory

    Phy thank you for your thoughtful comment. I agree with you about what you write. Rationally, I do believe in it being alright in the end, but emotionally it fluctuates. Sometimes I can trust it completely, at others I can't stop the stress and worrying. fuchka thank you! ---- I've had some...
  14. rory

    Poly journey of Mya and rory

    Mya visited here, finally. It was really good to see her. I do need to write about stuff, but it will be somewhat incoherent, sorry. All of us have much going on at the moment, and not all pleasant. Mya has written a bit about her stuff. In my end, Alec finally came to the decision that he...
  15. rory

    So far, so good!

    True! :) Hugs to you.
  16. rory

    So far, so good!

    Money woes, same here (still)... Can make a person very tired. But it's good you are able to visit! :) And you have totally the right ideas about spending time, with movies and closeness.
  17. rory

    Poly journey of Mya and rory

    fuchka for me and Alec I guess it doesn't become too focused on sex even with the regular chats, because both of us are a bit of the type to fall into everything that's going on in life that we sort of forget to think about sex. Sometimes there's then the urge to have sex, as a reminder, but the...
  18. rory

    the story of a secondary

    !!! :p
  19. rory

    Another judgy thread: Opening up marriages

    Oh yeah, nowhere have I made a contract about monogamy when marrying. The only thing that was stated is that by getting married, we form a family; nothing about who else that family can entail. [Neither have I promised forever, simply said that I want to commit in the present moment.] It is...
  20. rory

    mono/poly, LDR and time management

    Hi, it sounds like things are going pretty well otherwise, and it's simply a question of everybody adjusting to the new situation. :) Yet, it sounds straining as it is. Can I ask if there are any complicating factors? For example, why is it that M feels like she has nothing to do when A...
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