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That's a very disturbing recount....and one that I'm very familiar with (ex-husband, mono relationship). A book that helped me understand the dynamics was called "the verbally abusive relationship" by patricia evans. It's a power dynamic of course...and the abuser steps up a notch once he/she...

I'd just to comment on how much I like seeing the word "respect" being used. A great starting point - good luck to you all !

RP, you mentioned risk in your last sentence. There are two types of risk. Human beings generally focus on "downside risk," to use a financial term, the risk that an investment will go down in value. Our relationships are investments. The other side of risk is called "upside risk," which is...

I was 95% there on my own and just needed someone to tell me the word to get me over the line. Once I had the word...I read like mad.. Strangely enough, the person that gave me the word almost put me off...due to their style of poly being so radically different to what my research had given me...

I had a very pleasant FWB fling/thing last week. A friend of a friend stayed with me for a week....and we had a very nice time togther ;) We're very different people - I liked the differences, but certainly didn't see our week together as the start of something deeper/longer etc. I didn't think...

It is interesting to look at the path people took to end up here...many different paths to versions of the same location I would think. For me, I am an open minded person. In my twenties I was comfortable dating several people openly at the same time. I didn't really think much about it back...

"I don't usually look for external validation of my personal beliefs." (I'll study how to quote at some point.) I think this is a very important sentence. Once you start looking for external validation, it can be a rocky path to moving away from your own personal values. Once you look...

Thanks flamecat and ohiogirl...that's exactly the sort of stuff I wanted to hear. General stuff about how stereotypes influence us... or where we sit/don't sit in relation to them. It's interesting that stereotypes even exist...and that they could shape us in some way/s. In some ways, I feel I...

Well, thin is certainly NOT the only sexy ! An open smile, personal warmth, a sense of playfulness, a strong sense of confidence in who they are, a wicked sense of humour... I think I'd almost be inclined to say those would be the things I notice upon meeting someone, rather than physical...

My mother has often told me a story of how mortified she was when I, as a child pointed at a dwarf (sorry, is that word un PC nowadays ?...should I say short statued ?) and exclaimed loudly "look how short that man is !!" She has often told that story...so I was well prepared when my son, at...

fast thinking is a great asset ! I know I probably would have just sat there shocked and disturbed, and would have come up with a thousand replies hours later. Good on them ! Stories like that are gold though, it gives one the opportunity to think about appropriate responses. I'm going to put...

Groups that dislike redheads = very sad indeed. Also agree that stereotypes are not that helpful. But the studies on pain thresholds are interesting as there seems to be indications that a gene linked to hair colour also has some sort of link to how someone feels pain......or more basically -...

I'm interested in this as I have red hair. And it has come up elsewhere. I've had partners that are almost fetish-like in their red-haired devotion. I've also come across people who say "oh, are people scared of you because they think you are deeply, seriously big with your emotional state ?"...

An aspect of the wieght question I find interested is that it appears it's ok to publicly comment on people's weight when they are thin/skinny.. I'm tall and thin, maybe weigh 135 and would be perhaps 5'10. I constantly hear "oh, you're so thin", "geez, you're so skinny". These types of...

I'm inclined to agree. I'm pretty new to all this, but this is how I've approached it with my child, who is 10. He is introduced to anyone I'm seeing, that I may wish to continue seeing. I've told him that I believe it's entirely possible, acceptable, and not at all uncommon to have strong...

Colourful people are interesting. Full stop... Rainbows are pretty :)

I've only just worked out there's "friends" functionality on this site. A bit slow on the uptake ! LOL. I should probably learn the ropes. Cheers

Yes, of course :) hard times will be there though...for any relationship. In many ways...it's the hard times that are really valuable - they get a bad rap really... I've certainly found that hard times in my life and/or in a relationship are the times when I have learned the most lessons...

Love can be hard. It can be so hard that it hurts...a lot ! best wishes during the hard times...

there's certainly some interesting stereotypes about redheads...being a red head myself, I can't really comment I've had partners that swear there's something to it though !!