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Minxxa, can I quote you? Oh yeah! That kinda sums up the whole thing to me. Thanks, :D Rusty

So glad I got in first! Kingofmice, I am so happy for you. Please don't take what follows as patronising. It is heartfelt and genuine, believe me! You sound like a lovely person and I wish I had had the insight and self-knowledge to realise how I am wired back when I was 20 instead of...

Well put Indigo "The worst thing you can do for yourself is assume that you are inferior in the relationship" is a problem not helped by the label 'secondary'. Rusty

Me! me! let me be first - then you can all shoot me down later. First of all, 'this intimacy' is most definitely NOT restricted to sex. The "amory" part is exactly the point. Multiple sex partners is one thing, more than one love is another thing entirely, although not unnaturally one tends...

Thanks Quotes: "I'm not certain that conversion is possible . . and . . In case I've not said thanks yet - THANKS !!" From where I have been for 25 years I AM a convert - intellectually I had no idea it was possible to be so loving as to share your intimate friends. So: meeting - albeit...

Haha. Thanks. I hope the slightly patronising tone is ironical? ;)

Well, I'm pretty sure my mono partner reckons she has the sticky end of things, but it's nice if others don't have that issue. As to why she'd stay, maybe 30 years together, and the fact that we still love each other, might have something to do with it. :)

I value candour, but please can you try not to be quite so condemning? :eek: NYCindie, Sage, I guess I can see how you have got there. But I am not saying polyamory is superior to monoamory, just that I am continually stunned by the amount of emotional effort my partner is putting into letting...

Hi Fearie. I'm relatively new to this and have written elsewhere about what an epiphany I had when I discovered that other people have these strong non-exclusive feelings. Don't try again to be mono. From what you've written, I am pretty sure you aren't that. Listen to the more experienced...

Very interesting thread. My wife and I have always called each other 'lover' so we don't have any negative connotations, like mistress. Now that I have a 'special friend' as well, I am quite happy to call her my lover too. Some 6 months since we all worked out what was going on, we are just on...

Hey Rachelina Can't add a lot to what the earlier posters have said except to say that you are definitely not alone. I am in the same position as your husband, let me repeat that your acceptance and tolerance will have humbled and amazed him, as my Dory's did me. It is quite something to be...

Yeah, yeah, so do I. I do feel Dory and all the responses to her post have rather hijacked Hurt's thread. It's a bit of a rollercoaster this, isn't it? :eek: And like a rollercoaster there really is no going back.

Nah, I think that's a pretty healthy attitude actually. You're not closed to the possibility, but it'd have to be something all 3 wanted and it doesn't bother you if it never happened. I completely relate to that, although we had a day out in London all together a bit since (go see Stomp if...

Are these people you already know? Do they know each other? Are you really trying to jump straight from being single to a triad? That's pretty adventurous!

Well, at least you admit you are ranting. I'm afraid my OKC profile used to be pretty much one of those. I've been suppressing what I think are poly inclinations for 30+ years now, and the only way I could think of to relieve the stress of that was to look for an illicit partner. Okay, I am...

The Official Poly Statement "I have become emotionally drawn to (so and so) and am curious about exploring a relationship with them. I don't know what this really means for us but I do know that I love you and want to be in this relationship. I also know that, to be true to myself and...

Imperfect - you made me cry! Thanks for expressing your feelings so well. It will really help us to put words to our feelings.

A Quote from a while ago: Just in case anyone thinks poly is a new idea, read this that I found in one of the more obscure corners of my reading pile: Be thy heart a well of love, my child, Flowing, and free, and sure, For a cistern of love, though undefiled, Keeps not the spirit pure...

If we were Germans we wouldn't muck about with all this greek and latin rubbish, we'd just use our own roots and call ourselves 'multilovers' that sounds okay, doesn't it?

NRE - how long? Just wondered if anyone would like to share roughly how long their NRE (new relationship energy; I had to look it up) lasts? After knowing my g/f for 2 years, dating for almost a year and us both admitting our true feelings only in the last month, I am not sure whether we will...