Search results

Sorry things didn't work out for you, and my best wishes for starting a new relationship soon. Can I ask why it didn't work out? Or, let me phrase that differently: were the reasons why things didn't work out anything that might be instructive for others in similar relationships, or were they...

Thank you so much! I love the article. I'll share it with my partners/spouses/co-conspirators right away. Very helpful, indeed!

Well, you could watch a horror movie and curl up and be scared together, and see how that goes. Who knows, maybe she'll take the lead. If you're quoting her accurately, I sure wouldn't put a lot of money on that not happening. If it DOES happen, then odds are that she's already thought about...

Same here. We never thought of ourselves as poly. We knew about the poly community a little, knew a few people in it, and were vaguely amused by it without giving it much thought. And then we met this woman, and poof, we're poly. That's actually a vast over-simplification of a bunch of...

Well, the reason it's scary is that my marriage really DID work out in the end. I mean, we're not at the end yet, but we're having our 20th wedding anniversary this year, and we lived together for four years before that, and we're still together. If this triad thing hadn't come along, I think...

Right, that's what I meant. I wrote in haste. "Fidelity only within the group" sounds like it could encompass infidelity outside the group, but no, we're talking about the same thing: monogamous marriage but with three people instead of two. I still think I like "equilateral triad" better...

Hi Jamee. Thanks for responding on my thread. After reading through yours, I don't have a lot to add to what others have said. In my little burgeoning poly-fi triad (see, I learned the right term!), we don't seem to be having jealousy issues. Or at least, if we're having them, they're buried...

I will absolutely check your thread. See you over there! Feel free to contact me through the private-message thing if there's stuff you'd like to discuss.

Boy, it'd be hard to say who that would be, at this point. We've all got it pretty bad. That's good advice, it really is. I'm very much aware of the point, but maybe I don't take it to heart as much as I should. One complicating factor is that the NW and I, for reasons mostly related to our...

Two-against-one conflicts: no, not really. I know New Woman (for lack of a better term) feels like she's likely to be in the minority all the time, but it's just theoretical so far. No real conflicts at all at this point. Live together: not yet. Planning on it. There will have to be some...

Not really. I don't feel like I even know enough to have specific questions. I just want to hear from people who have succeeded at doing what we're trying to do about the obstacles they faced and overcame -- or, I suppose, from people who failed at it about what the fatal problems were. I...

I'm the male part of what looks like it's becoming a long-term committed full/closed/equilateral/whatever MFF triad. I'm not sure about the terminology, but the idea is that what we're trying to do here is the moral equivalent of three-way marriage, with all of us on an equal footing. Not a...

The whole coming-out thing has been very much on my mind lately, and on my wife's. We're a historically-mono couple, married 20-plus years, and we're just starting what looks like, maybe, hopefully, with luck and communication and quite a bit of adjustment on everyone's part, is going to become...

I can readily believe the "infinitely more complex." Frankly, just a monogamous married relationship has fully satisfied my need for complexity for the last 20 years, and the thought of managing a 50% increase in the number of people involved is truly daunting. Not quite daunting enough to not...

In the music realm, there's David Crosby's "Triad." Jefferson Airplane covered it, and that's the version I suspect most people are familiar with. It's the one with the line "Why can't we go on as three?," which I always thought was the name of the song until just the other day, when I was...

That's probably the best piece of advice, so far. Thanks for pointing that out. We're all brand-new to this; none of us has ever been in a relationship before that involved more than two people. Even with the best will in the world, somebody is probably going to do something that makes someone...

Lots of good stuff to think about in this thread. Thanks to BlackUnicorn and GroundedSpirit for their explorations into the up side of unicornity. So, let's say, just for argument's sake, that there's a newly formed triad consisting of a long-term, historically mono married couple and a bi...

Hey, nice Good pointers in at least one of those threads. I didn't even notice the search feature. Thanks!

Sleeping three to a bed Ok, silly question, but I'd seriously welcome input from more experienced polyamorists: how do you deal with sleeping three to a bed? I mean actually sleeping, in the non-euphemistic sense. Very limited experience suggests that it's just not all that comfortable for...