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and while you are consulting a lawyer, It may be a good idea for the lawyer to send a reminder to snarky's parents that threats have legal consequences to those who make them. Especially if they are documented.

As already stated, it is refreshing to see polyamory getting positive press. I would like to think that change, in terms of public perception of polyamory, is on the horizon. However, considering how long it took to legalize same-sex marriage, it's a far, far away horizon. I do believe...

I think it requires a certain discipline of the part of both the poly and the mono in that relationship. I'm certainly not going to intentionally hide those other relationships, with my mono partner. But she also need to accepts that there are aspects of those relationships which I won't openly...

I think like many I had the emotional characteristic long before I realized I was poly. I couldn't understand why I could not have clean clear emotional break in failed relationships in my teen years or early adulthood, and like many I was raised with traditional behavioral norms. It wasn't...

I think you may be wanting a simple solution to a deeper relationship problem. But you do make me wonder how you personally define what it is to be in a poly relationship. In other words, do you see a poly relationship as one or two levels above a casual hook-up with social attachment? That is...

Don't be surprised if the family scorn is less dramatic than expected. I hope some of the veil of polyamory has been lifted. Like everything else mass media brings out the best and worse extremes about the lifestyle. In the end all of our lives are private whether poly or mono, I guess that's...

I'm not sure saying no is all that easy. At least it was not for me. Unless the ex is self destructive, or abusive, don't we all leave a bit on our heart in past relationships? The hard thing about being poly knowing when self preservation /sanity "trumps" our need to be compassionate for...

I think the only my only concern with porn is that it turns sex into a sport or theatrical event rather that intimacy. While sex is a sport for some, in hopes of deriving self pleasure, I'm not sure self pleasure advances the cause of sharing and loving others. It may be old fashion but isn't...

After reading the entire thread, I agree. In any event, polypet, how is this relationship happy or healthy for you? How are your needs being met? Some philosopher said a long time ago, that, "all relationships are usery," I'm simply not seeing the utility in the relationship.

I don't think Fluid bonding is an emotional issue for anyone in a committed relationship poly or mono. However, I was recently reviewing a medical journal article on infections. There are several classes of virus which take months or even years to become detectable under a standard STD panel...

Very well stated.:) I have wonder if forcing Poyamory into a fixed finite definition, was inconsistent with the idea itself. Even the idea of monogamy is inconsistent because to "love" another means we probably needed to "love" ourselves first. If we didn't love ourselves how would we know...

I'm feeling a little cowardly, and sad for myself. More than three years ago, I was able to identify my poly nature. However, other than lots reading, and having a general discussion with my wife, I have not acted. Bofish, your blog has been a wake up call. The longer I suppress, my needs for...

I may be getting to deep into the weeds here but have you examined why the original bi relationship imploded? I raise that question, because it has a significant bearing of those which follow. How willing was Arlo to actually open the marriage in the first place? I think if you examine the why...

Well the last time I posted was to introduce myself and share a bit of my story and situation. Unfortunately, my hopes of developing a poly relationship and opening my marriage have pretty much fallen flat. The lady that I thought was poly, has re-evaluated her feelings and is really a serial...

Annabel hit the nail on the head. It could be he does not understand poly, or he is still trying to figure out how it fits him. Either way you are in a relationship where everyone is not playing by the same rules. This is unfair to you and your husband and needs to be resolved in the short term.

Another thing to remember is that not all romances need to go physical to be "romantic." I'm certainly not discouraging the physical, and personally I see sex as a significant expression of ones feeling for another. However, the older I get the more I realize some of those around me love me...

If you accept the "precept" that "all relationships are usery." Then by expansion on that proposition, the relationship ends at a point where one or both parties no longer have a use for the other party. However, I do believe we all continue to have a certain empathy for the party in the former...

Based on what's written, new gf is a serial monogamous in poly clothes. The question is whether the drunken bf is willing to see the truth for what it is. Primary gf is really holding all the cards in this situation. Its her decision as to whether she wants him back, knowing that he is not...

Bangel, I'm in the opposite situation as you. I'm trying to start the conversation to open my marriage. What I can say is that it's not always possible for one person to be all things to their partner. A poly person has the willingness, ability and need to extend love beyond the one person to...

Well, I do agree that your husband behavior with the "make out" session was "bad form." I do think the offer to extend a ride to the meeting was an attempt to smooth things over with you. It is entirely possible that he was caught up in the moment with this other person. Lets face facts, its...