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That's because monogamy--- or, rather, not monogamy itself, but the pervasive culture of monogamy--- is a cult with rules to follow and procedures to be aware of. If regular, everyday, customary dating is easier than poly (I don't necessarily think it is), then one reason for that is that the...

Plausibility arguments such as this are interesting, but they aren't data. The coronal ridge doesn't have to scoop out ALL the competing sperm, just some of it, to be evolutionarily advantageous. Take a look at the shape of the vagina. It flares out just before it meets the cervix. And that...

These painful moments are not brought to you thanks to polyamory, but rather courtesy of a deeply sex-negative puritanical mainstream culture, which would have your three girlfriends conform, even if it means misery to them. I think the lesson to take away is to be circumspect with the people...

My lover and I saw a stage production of "Bed and Sofa" a couple of weeks ago. She had seen it advertised and thought it might be kind of a fun advertisement for poly. It's based on a 1927 Russian silent film about life in the early Soviet Union. An out-of-work printer moves in with his friend...

My poly sweetie and I are getting married in October. Yay! We were both looking for nonmonogamy from the very beginning.

I didn't say "not predominantly monogamous"; I said "strict monogamy is not the rule," the latter including cultures which practice monogamy predominantly, but have socially acceptable outlets (festivals, particular people, etc.) for nonmonogamy. Since I don't know you, and have no idea what...

I thought it was a great book, although it certainly does tend to do a little cheerleading for our side, which, as a polyamorist, I love, but at which, as a scientist, I tend to look askance. No, they do not discuss modern polyamory, or use the word at all, I believe, unless it is in the final...

Pretty much any decent science fiction will have a dose of poly in it. Much of it more than a dose. My personal favorites are, of course, the Heinlein books--- The Moon is a Harsh Mistress should be required reading for all newcomers to poly. I'm also a big fan of Farscape, and Season 3 when...

I don't think the world is ready for a poly coming-out-day. To be perfectly honest. The groundwork is not laid. Ask a person on the street what they think of poly, and (if they know what the word means at all) they will likely tell you "it's an excuse to cheat." or "Sluts and whores." or "Why...

Cabaret. And it's a musical. And it has Liza in it.

My girl's smile is the fullest, biggest, brightest smile in the world when she's walking down the street with me on one arm and another boy on the other. That's the moment when she's positively beaming. I'd be poly in public just so I could see her like that, even if people spat on us as we...

I'd just add, by the way, that the article's claim that an openly poly person cannot be a politician is falsified by example. In 1998, Colorado Governor Roy Romer was caught in what reporters believed was an illicit affair. To their astonishment (and probably disappointment), however, he...

I'm not solo. I'm in a serious relationship with one other person. I've been in a variety of poly relationships in various capacities in the past. A tribe is an ideal for both me and my partner. We want friends and lovers around us, to and for support. I personally don't distinguish terribly...

Yay! ;) I did overstep a little in saying that poly tendencies were present in absolutely everyone; I specifically remember a National Geographic article recently about a tribe of hunter-gatherers in which the sexual relationships were fluid and varied continuously, except for this one couple...

Yeah... maybe it got away from me a little there.

A lot of these problems, as she admits, are actually problems with the social machinery of enforced monogamy. "Rejection by family, friends, etc.," not knowing which partner to take to a party, and the inability to run for political office aren't problems with polyamory; they're problems with...

Monogamy is very strongly programmed. Anything different is strongly condemned in our culture. I think it's unrealistic to have "the poly talk" with anyone you're seriously monoamorously dating and expect a positive result. I've tried that, many times, dating someone, deciding to get serious...

You missed out. ;) I just think that poly people get the same bad rap: monos who have no experience with it at all pretty much uniformly think of poly (if they think of it at all) as an inability to commit, a lot of f*cking around, harem-building, sexual abuse, and so on. Which makes it...

I've got news for ya. ;) I agree. That's an issue. Poly is much more egalitarian that way. I think that the reason, rather than outright homophobia, is that there is a very strong voyeuristic motivation for swinging. To see your partner with someone else is the turn-on. It's easy to turn down...

Yeah, that was incredibly offputting and offensive. Not to mention breathtakingly disrespectful of her, when she was only asking him to imagine putting himself in her shoes for a moment. Ick.