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Sheff is one of the first poly researchers. She wrote more books. Suprised you haven't heard of her. How did you find that link? Would like to know that really much!

TBH, again... mentioned upthread that i became corposlave recently. And, frankly, two weeks ago, beign under pressure, i snapped and told my two partners: okay, so i promised both of you to meet on saturday. My fault. But i forgot, i forget everything lately, i don't have time, i have two free...

TBH, that's not necessarily abuse. If you're upfront about it, it's basically sugar whatever thing. It starts beign abusive if you lead someone into standart relationship and then add some emotional manipulation into it, power play in the form of guilting and so on. But not from the start. On a...

Hm, at least we have something more. Didn't have time to read it all (jesus, beign a corporate slave is soul sucking experience. Why people don't suicide en masse, i don't get it), but browsed a bit and i saw two thing: 1. The financial abuse is laughable, really. It's entitlement, basically...

I have hard time understanding what are you trying to say. I can't see much of a difference. Also, it sounds that you concentrate a lot on the wording. The letter, not the spirit, so to say. Which strenghtens my impression that i can't seem to see a difference. Also, what is that poly hell thing?

I don't think Alan does poly for a living...

You lived 18 years in a monogamous relationship. Of course it feels like a cheating to do it differently, that's what you are used to. Whether the feeling describes reality is something else entirely.

I've seen enough people telling their stories - my friends - about relationships they were involved (at that time and in the past) in to never buy it at face value, as a description of reality not as a description of their feelings. Sometimes the discrepancy, and honest at that, between what i...

Given that some people use DADT (not that i get it) that is probably the best solution, as it doesn't break their potential DADT while getting you the answer. And i don't think it's his fault that you feel angry. I mean, i don't think it's something clearly wrong and that you care about...

Why would you assume that particular thing? I mean, there are men involved in the conspiracy, uh, sorry, survivor pod. :D ;)

No one got outed, folks. It's not 6 out of 6. That would weird, that's true. But it's 6 out of we don't know how many but likely quite a few given he is 50 or something.

It's also the most critical piece about it (and i scoured the web looking for texts about the whole thing). And included reddid thread was rather small and transient for the size of poly subreddit. I'm more interested what happened to Pepper Mint... Oh, there is another "funny" thing, Janet...

Well, text is text not speech but going by your collaborative inquiry thread, i'm inclined to agree :)

Oh, that's sad :(

Frankly, i am at loss at what you expect here, since there is no question, just a short intro into some hard situation. But you wanted a response, so here it is i guess :D Btw, i think there is always a reason, even if it's unreasonable or straight up stupid for the observer. Or invisible...

I would assume OP told him? It's pretty obvious... Exclusive or OP falling in love is something completely different from previous situations and there are other reasons. Presumably OP didn't keep T request secret from W? I wouldn't call that oversharing... It's completely different situation...

What does he worry about? I mean, you haven't written about it - i assume you two did talk about it at lenght (these things are usually quite deep and complicated), but how are we to say what to dothat if you didn't tell us that? At no point, until it's at the end of gunpoint, tbh. T said he...

Ah, i see, thanks (regarding the description of enabler) Why do you think it's a bit harsh? (note that i put responsibility on both parties, btw - so i am unsure what do you mean since you said somewhat different and i don't know why?)

One direction... perhaps, but it would be more accurate to say that people with such PDs are traumatized by basically everything. What do you mean by enabler? In any case i would say that responsibility almost always (cases like children excluded) lies on both people in a dyad. If someone...

Thank you! So far so good :) And we are certainly more cautious, perhaps because of what you mentioned. So, yes, we certainly changed. Yet, we are still the same people in many important ways :)