Search results

Com'on out! Two things I would suggest. First, start with coming out to one person, the one you feel most comfortable with. Second, you may find that explaining what's going on is harder than you think. Do some reading on More Than Two or some equivalent site because (hopefully) your friend...

Asking to restrict a specific arbitrary sex act with others does nothing to address what's going on in your relationship with him. Let's say he says yes to your stipulation. And (although you only know because of what he tells you) let's say that he keeps to it. The actual relationship...

Because you are the one traveling, you are more likely to find people who are going to be ok with the fact that you are leaving for long periods of time at regular intervals. I have dated women in this situation, it's very fun. But yes, you do develop feelings and if things go well, you will...

I would suggest looking into swinging sites or fetlife. Not that poly people aren't into what you're looking for but those venues are much more directed to finding people that would fit the bill (than on this site).

This is approach is much more reality friendly rather than the "just say no" approach. People are fallible and it's better to have a backup plan. Not saying that you don't have a reason to be upset. But mistakes do happen. I would also be greatly annoyed if something was ever presented as "my...

What's easiest for him... Reading this whole thread, I see a huge amount of "I think he thinks she thinks..." and general fuzziness. I recognize this. His behavior reminds me of, well, me from less illustrious moments in my past. He's doing what is easiest for him. It's just easier to not...

Kevin, Thanks. We'll certainly be talking about what we can do. It may be that I have to make plans to travel with her more to get more free time. Who knows. We'll have that discussion.

Thanks, it's becoming clearer that it's not jealousy. The twisted logic of that voice in my brain appears to be: "Her overnight reminds me that I want to spend more time like that with Liza but it's unlikely to happen here (locally) for at least a year or two more so therefore we're done for and...

Over the years, I have shared my bed non-sexually with quite a few people including my ex-wife and a few ex-lovers. It is kind of a non-event. It's becoming clearer to me that this isn't about the other guy but that I would like more time with Liza overall and this simply may not happen. Or...

True. It's not that she doesn't make the effort. Right now, she's traveling on a business trip unencumbered by kids and he is a friend from the East Coast (we're on the West Coast). When she's here, she's has to deal with kids & husband, work, evening classes, and homework so overnights are...

Arg. Dealing with a spate of jealousy/envy/something else. I've been seeing Liza just over a year. She's married (they don't have sex), three kids. They have an open relationship. Ted'snot currently seeing anyone but he has in the past. Liza tells me that he is ok with the current relationship...

So many things wrong... It's been hard to consider commenting on this thread, I've been aghast at so much. This left me pretty appalled that someone would say something like that. Mostly I think it's lazy and dishonest. But apparently, she expects the opposite, that you'll put up with her...

Am I missing something? Perhaps I'm missing something. She started a job as an OSO. You felt jealous and bad about this. You convinced her to give up OSO job. She agreed. As has been described, just sucking it up leads to problems. However, the path you've chosen (I'm feeling jealous so...

First, stop being so hard on yourself. My ex, who is not on here unfortunately, seems like you. We were together for four years or so. She was always quite envious of my long term relationships and she has struggled with long term relationships for some of the same reasons you've described...

It's unfortunate but sometimes the better part of valor is to walk away. I was in an unfortunate situation (too complicated to describe) where I had little recourse and couldn't respond. But the people who were my friends did come talk to me because what was being said "didn't sound like...

I agree with vinsanity. I don't see it as a contradiction that I am solo poly with a primary partner. I reflect on the primary as being the longest and most invested relationship. But we don't live together.

Meg, I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. The good news here is that you seem to have a very rational picture of the situation but it makes you sad when you consider your options. It's not unusual that this failed. If you read around, you'll find that it is very difficult to find a...

Control I have, in my past, been involved a similar relationship where I only had sex with my friend's wife when he was there. In my experience, the biggest adjustment for you (OP) may be that this new relationship only involves you indirectly or not at all. She will be having an independent...

What is success? Oy vey!! That's usually because their definition of "success" is a saving and maintaining a long term monogamous relationship. Regardless of mono or poly, isn't it a success when people figure out what they want and take actions to achieve that?

For what it's worth For what it's worth, this is exactly the same experience that my partner & I experienced. We came to the conclusion that there were two components: one was cultural and the other personal. 1) My (male) experience dating versus hers. I received very few messages but when a...