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As long as we are digressing: Two anecdotes: 1. My rideshare partner recently became single. I suggested that he do meet-up groups rather than online dating. And boom! He was shocked, but he has had a number of great interactions, and a date for this Wednesday after maybe 3 weeks of meet-ups...

**Thanks for the disclaimer, being over 50 myself. ***What if they were over 40 and fat? I'm using age as an arbitrary measuring stick. Your example makes my point. I've met people my age who look 10 years older and others who look 10 years younger (damn you, Steve!!!). That's my point, you...

Why do some men like big breasts? Personal preference. But these superficial characteristics are deceiving. Online dating is bass-ackwards to me. It encourages people to make judgements based on superficial characteristics such as height, weight, age, etc., and rule out people because they are...

Personally, when my SO & I first did overnights, we scheduled them so that we both had overnights the first few times. I feel it was a great way to transition. All parties knew the situation. Perhaps we were lucky that we had that opportunity. It definitely allowed us to more gently ease into...

I don't think anyone can answer this for you. The definition of "vanilla" depends on you. In my context - we use vanilla to be a comparison of "us" versus "them" where "them" are "non-whatever I'm doing" people. We would be considered vanilla by our BDSM friends.

There are so many things in this thread that resonant with me. My situation has been similar right down to the OKC envy, my anxieties and the dating mania of my partner. She has been very understanding and helpful to me in terms of throttling back her activities to give me time to process...

Point taken. You bring up some great points for us to talk about.

Yup. It happens. And this is good advice. I have had the same problem. It is tough to realize that it's all in your head (barring a real medical/pharmacological issue). Your brain is your real sex organ. Pharmacology (Viagra or Cialis) does not trump your brain. Everyone's experience is...

I am in an open/polyamorous relationship. I am male, hetero, 54, with a primary partner (C) that I live with. I was mono most of my life until my wife of 20 years passed away six years ago. I suppose that I am looking to brainstorm and get some feedback about introducing someone to polyamory...

OK, yes, it bugs me that she wants to spend time with him. In my previous post I started to catalog all the ways we are different but I realized that it was filtered through my insecurities. That is, we are SO different in so many obvious ways (that I won't list) she must actually prefer those...

That resonates to some degree. Ours is not a tight knit group because of geography for the most part. That he is so different from me is certainly one of the reasons that she probably likes him or appreciates him. As she would say, a different flavor of ice cream. But yes I don't understand...

Partner dating someone you don't like? What do you do if your partner is dating someone you really dislike? I mostly think this is my problem not hers.So this is mostly me trying to figure myself out to see if it's all me or whether there is something I need to talk with her about. I've...

Yes, in our experience, dating on OKCupid is much easier for a woman. My experience there has been mixed. Lately it has been quite frustrating because I am very clear in my profile but have met several women who didn't read the profile and then are shocked, shocked! that I am in an open/poly...

Welcome!

I probably need to move this to another thread, but I thought it was interesting, because I've had the same experience of meeting women who would be willing to help me cheat on my partner, but weren't willing to see me if it's an open relationship, that is, if I told my partner. Go figure!? I...

Not quite, but getting there? Everything about me has changed in the last three years. I was married for 21 years in a vanilla monogamous relationship. Over the last 5 years of our marriage, my late wife struggled with cancer. The process was heart-wrenching, eye-opening and life-changing for...

Let's not be so harsh. There is a lot of ambiguity in this situation and communication is not completely open. Let's face it, they are young. And it happened in her presence, which completely changes the dynamic. Calling this "cheating" is a little over the top. It seems more like stretching the...

Mono, You know, I felt that way originally. Here's what my SO said that convinced me. First, because it's about being happy, if I find someone that I'm happier with, more power to me. She loves me a lot, but she also could see that a relationship with her was going to be challenging. Second, if...

As someone who is (still) transitioning from a completely mono viewpoint to a poly one, l can tell you some of the things I went through. 1. Whatever happens, you'll survive. There were points that felt like life or death. They weren't. It just felt that way. That's society, our training from...

To throw in my two cents, I think it has a lot to do with intent. For example, in my mind it is possible to masturbate using someone else's body. If you are only completely focussed on your own orgasm, to me, that's masturbation. The fact that you're using your hand or someone else's body to...