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Such frustration is understandable. We never want it to get to this point, and that is regrettable, all you can do about that part is apologize for your part and move on, but your frustration is understandable. I really strongly suspect... he gets it. Who wouldn't, you know? If nothing else, you...

I'm a solo poly person, so, to the outside world, I just look like I'm dating. The easiest thing, of course, is to date other poly people. Most of the ones I've met have been online (through OKCupid) because I live in a small town. Barring that, through trial and error, I've decided that the...

I may be reading this wrong, but it doesn't really sound like there's a problem here. You say that you both agreed that you put things on hold, but then you say you're not sure how she feels and you're not sure that she will contact you if she wants to. This makes me think that it was she that...

Hard to tell from this what you are having an issue with. For instance, does the number worry you because of the exposure/health concerns it raises, or are you, deep down, maybe, making a moral judgement about it? Nothing really wrong with that, but it would be worth your notice. I know, for...

This is a very funny, (imo), take on the whole hierarchy thing. At least R-rated+, I'd say for those at work or with kids. http://www.goodiebag.tv/episodes/polly_wally.htm

It sounds to me like Nadine wants intimacy and the freedom to explore it. I've had this discussion before with someone who was trying to make me define, and be specific, and kept trying to say it was "sex," and I remember feeling irritated and trapped, too. I'm not going to argue with the...

You sound very unhappy and you are in love with someone who knows his behavior is hurting you but is not changing his behavior to stop hurting you. I'm not talking even about the other woman, but about leaving you out, not making time for you, and not talking to you, etc. What are you getting...

Hi, I like your attitude. Life's short, yeah. :)

My two cents: Well, most university crowds are pretty liberal, and, even if individuals are not, the pressure is to appear tolerant, at least, so I would think there's not much reason, really, to hide what you're about. In my school, it would just make you appear more interesting. But, that's...

Or exclusive. "Are you exclusive?"

I don't want to get into the linguistic or philosophical debates going on here, or to have to guard every word to avoid generalizations. I'm just speaking practically from my own experience to the OP. I'm assuming the real issue is that the OP hooked up with someone who isn't poly.... First of...

Polyamory doesn't mean people are disposable or interchangeable, and, while people do it, it doesn't mean that relationships outside the primary one are only sexual either, so, in the sense that your wife is talking about polyamory, no, it doesn't make sense that it's an excuse. What polyamory...

If you're not living with anyone, can't you just say you're dating, but not exclusively? Or, just go on a first date, then talk about it when it comes up? People don't assume you're dating only them from the very first. I use to talk about being poly right away, but if you're not living with a...

Do you mean that everyone says you should be mono with a primary for a while before opening it up? If so, I disagree. I think that's certainly useful advice if there's a primary relationship to start with, but I much prefer the dynamic (and I think it's VERY different) of starting with two...

First of all, big hugs. Please accept that I may just be projecting here, and I may be COMPLETELY WRONG, but, since you're asking, what I'm hearing is that you already feel that you "know" that she's pulling away, or not really in love, or whatever, but her words and your lack of certainty about...

Well, I think you're still poly, but that's because your description of where you are emotionally sounds hauntingly familiar (not the violence part) and I still think I'm poly, so.... I have to believe that you can get your needs met, and be adored, and respected, even if the person/people who...

Looks and Competition It seems like you know what's up with the concern about looks. Everyone seems to have helped with that. I was noticing, too, though, your feeling about being in competition with your husband. Naturally, we all know that this isn't the healthiest attitude, but I think it's...

Goodness, I know that. I don't take things that personally. :) I agree. When someone isn't open to listening, why bother? You have no reason to try to convince anyone. And, well, people do debate it, quite hotly. There was just a very long and emotional debate on one of the groups I subscribe...

HPV Update Quote: Originally Posted by sunnydee My original post: The vaccine for young girls is one of the reasons I bring this up. First, it protects against only 4 of the most common strains, 2 of the cancer causing ones and 2 for warts. Older women are never offered this vaccine. I'm not...

Well, Beat, I did tell you mono women will generally not appreciate being approached by a married man. If you search for poly in the keywords, you might be a lot happier with the results. To be fair, she may have spoken a little rudely, but that's the internet for you. Oth, there's no reason...