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This thread is veering into a cyclical discussion and well off the original poster's concerns.

Well my wife's boyfriend and I are friends. We have our own conversations, our own inside jokes and interests that she does not share. The first time we met was very brief, he picked TP up from our house. Mr A came in and said hello, shook hands and TP made her way outside to her car (she was...

Well the results are in...literally...and while it's only a small dip, it's still a dip...normal is about an 8 on some scale for testosterone levels, I'm a 6.5...nit quite what I was hoping for....in truth I had hoped it'd be lower and that would account for a lot of the libido issues; but since...

BlackUnicorn is right on these points. I reference disappearing in a puff of NRE a lot because it can be a very real possibility, but I dont necessarily mean physically disappearing; emotionally NRE can focus one partner to the exclusion of another...it's something you need to be aware of and...

I have to echo BlackUnicorn's points. Finding a woman who is willing to share emotionally takes time, and patience. So the point of finding a pastime is twofold-- to occupy your time, and give you something to be passionate about.

So my love my love I went slightly board crazy...reading and posting and deciding not to post for fear my filter would come off and then I'd be a troll with anything constructive being lost in the mire...anyhoo I just wanted to say after reading some posts I appreciate your understanding and...

I can definitely sympathize with you. My wife has a boyfriend and I've yet to have another partner. I understand the frustration it can bring. But as you will read (depending on a lot of variables) it is harder for men to find willing poly partners (that is, women who can share you emotionally)...

Dang Rusty beat me to it! He makes a lot of good points. In my personal experience I guess I would have been the 'primary' as my wife and I had been together almost 2 years prior to opening up our relationship. When she started dating her boyfriend to ensure she didn't disappear in a puff of...

Hi there and welcome, You've come to the right place for anwers...that being said your questions are very telling, are these things you've discussed or are you just curious? Because as with monogamous relationships there are no guidelines to speak of, just what works for the particular...

It takes a real man to nest and make a decent bread pudding. (But stop hijacking the thread!)

I have to say, Freetime, you're a braver man than I. I wouldn't be able to watch TP on a date. Mind you, at this point I have been on dates with Mr A there. You're very fresh and this going out might have been pushing you past your comfort limit. It's self-destructive to torture yourself by...

Um wow. Ok so number one stop her giving you comparisons. It's not healthy for either of you...it's just hurtful. I don't think this will end well if it keeps up because now you're in direct competition by HER doing and in her eyes. If she loved you and cared about your feelings she wouldn't...

Tonberry, what an excellent post. In answer to your question, my low libido is not an issue for me, it is what it is; that being said in my mind it is an issue for us. Your points are entirely valid, it is the disconnect between TP and I that is the real problem. But we are working on a...

No it's been an ongoing issue. A steady decline now that I think of it... I had thought I'd be fine. I've been through it before, and it has been all right on some aspects: issues with her going out on dates don't bother me. Up to now it's been the one feeling of her attention being...

I wish there was a happy post...but I don't know how to feel... I thought I had moved past the feelings surrounding new poly. TP is looking to date a third with Mr A two hours away; I've given my okay as has Mr A...but I thought I would be fine, done it before and survived...thought I was over...

I really struggled with that too, FT. I was okay with the physical, didn't want to know the details, but fine with it. The emotional piece hurt. I got past it in a couple of ways. I refer to my last post, specifically about realizing that there are different things you each bring to her life...

Thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate them immensely. I really have to echo what Redpepper is saying. 8 days of progress is great. It took months to get over the first humps of fear I had. And to be honest, they come back to ninja my brain every so often. So it's always a work...

Why is it that any heterosexual, consenting adults can have any kind of fetish, some that can be considered a health risk, and it's "Whatever floats your boat." but you get two polyamorous, heterosexual, consenting adults who communicate better, are closer, and happier than their monogamous...

This is really the crux of it. You have to ask for what you need from them, because NRE will leave her blissfully oblivious to your needs sometimes, nor can you expect her to be a mind reader. When TP and I started down this road, I had a very hard time asking for what I needed. It took a lot...

Wow, FT, thanks for sharing all of this. I just did a full read-through at the behest of my wife, TruckerPete. I can say that it is reassuring to hear so many have the same feelings as I did. That being said, you really are going about this in the right way: open, honest, sometimes brutal...