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Guess I lucked out then or my firewall etc is decent enough as I didn't get hit with anything. Sorry you did TL. I actually thought they did a decent job on the show. Obviously they can't show every aspect and they do specify the marriage as open and not poly. I didn't see the husband as...

I tend to have a "simplistic" view at times and prefer "simple" answers to complex questions. I know when I do get "simplistic" I get looks of, "is she crazy!?" and "she just doesn't understand"...yet, simple answers sometimes are the best. So do it. You can only control your own actions and...

Have a sit down with B and find out what marriage means to him, define it, what makes it important. Is it the legality, the piece of paper, the old implied "till death do us part"? That might help with figuring out what "angle" to take on explaining why marriage (legal document) is not as...

I always find it semi-amusing, in the sarcastic sense, when people make up facts but don't tell their sources, for instance the abortion rates of poly vs. mono people. But considering the author of the original article, I can't be too surprised. My one question though revolves around his use of...

Do what you are doing. Be there for him. Talk with him. Let him talk to you. A little playful banter shouldn't be a problem, but I would not take it any further anytime soon, and especially not until a divorce is final. Give him ((hugs)), lots of them and promise that the next time you see him...

Welcome! Where about MN are you from (if you are comfy giving that info of course.) Cajun & I are in Mpls currently.

Welcome back! I was curious what happened to you three. So currently you have a possible V relationship. Is that really so un-doable? I don't recall everything from the back story, but I do know that things do change over time. Maybe a V would be possible? And if not, that's ok too. You three...

Too young to be poly...too young to be in love...too young to be wise... There are a lot of things that people are supposed to be too young for. I don't believe most of them. Too young to understand all of the consequences of your actions before acting? That one I can agree with only because...

I was curious whether the two of you read each others posts here...unless there are two people going through the exact same situation at the exact same time who just happen to be on this forum. Of course, maybe you two have an agreement not to post on each others topics?

Good, I'm glad that she does know. I hate putting on those horns, but sometimes it is needed. :) Go get those answers!

Did he say anything or just look at you funny? You said in your first post that he straight out said that they lived a poly lifestyle, have they not been living it long because I can't believe that they hadn't talked about rules at some point, especially when dating someone new. *puts on...

This is very important as well as if using your own definitions to make sure the person you are talking to understands what you mean. I am part of a philosophical discussion group and we have had some very aggravated people at times when someone assumes that their definition of something is the...

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showpost.php?p=25464&postcount=38 This post by Breathesgirl in the Dating & Relationships section under North America has a couple more links, maybe even the missing links from above.

I have the same problems at times, where my emotions get the better of me and I just can't talk. So I write. Sure, it's only semi-legible, but it's important to get as much as you can and if you can't speak with your mouth, speak with a pencil and paper or keyboard. I spent almost an entire...

If you are not in love with 2/3 of the quad, then no, it is not inappropriate not to say "I love you." This is actually common in any relationship, poly or mono, when one partner "falls" for the other before the other is ready. I straight forward told one of my exes that "I'm sorry, I don't feel...

I'm still hoping Cajun will sign up soon, he said he would. But in the meantime I can at least give you the idea that he came up with when it came to my exploring poly and the possibility of having sex with someone else. Basic concept is if his pants don't have a problem, why should he have a...

When my hubby and I were first talking about what would be allowed (it was our first foray into poly afterall) we actually spent time describing and coming to a consensus about how WE were to define physical acts. Everyone has different ideas as to what constitutes what, even for the most basic...

Commitment of Life...I like the sound of that. Sounds like a concept that takes the relgious aspect out of "marriage" but has more personal meaning than a "civil union".

That is exactly how I feel about Elric... thanks. :)

My soapbox point exactly. Used as a descriptor, it is fine. She used it as an insult which is where labels "go wrong".