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If you recall the book I mentioned before, Passionate Marriage, one of the skills, probably the most important skills that is mentioned is called "holding onto yourself". Being touched and comforted by others is wonderful but there is always a time when you may not have that option...what then...

I hate to say it, but there is no "right" or "wrong" with this unless you do not give her any choice. She gave you the choice to say "no, absolutely not" and instead of giving her an ultimatum like that, you two worked on it and discussed it. People have to make their own choices and sometimes...

I think I will have to run this question past my hubby, Cajun. A lot of this sounds similar to what we had gone through minus C. He may be able to give some advice that fits to your side of the equation and what/how you can help. (He also tends to be very verbose like you. ;) ) On my end of...

I have an ex-boyfriend (my pre marriage days) who I recently got back in touch with. There was nothing romantic, we were not interested in anything except being friends. We had been IM'ing and that is all. Unfortunately his wife doesn't like me very much, although you could say that if I hadn't...

This is a good question and I have to agree with some of the answers given already, mainly those regarding being true to who we are and that well, this is a poly forum. ;) I don't know who, if anyone, has noticed that when I refer to myself as poly, I say that I have poly tendencies. Maybe this...

I'm sorry she reacted to your post the way she did. I do hope she continued to read the rest of the topic before discussing your posts with you. I, for one, didn't think bad or poorly of her. We are all different in how we communicate, act, react and believe. I saw her as a partner who was under...

Lets start with "boyfriend claimed to be poly 4 years ago when you entered a mono relationship." I have to agree with the question that Breathesgirl asked, you went into a relationship with someone who had put out to you honestly that he is poly. Did he say that you two would be mono or did you...

I know you are very upset and hutring dagypsy. I am not sure how I would feel if I was in the same situation. But our situation is quite the opposite. I am the one who has the poly tendency, not my husband. He is not interested in a threesome (well maybe if it was 2 gals, but I'm not interested...

Nice one Ariakas! My guess though would be that Simple is Han and his gal is Chewy though. Han can express himself in words, but he is even more expressive physically while with Chewy, it's all words. ;) Although a better comparison might be R2D2 and C3PO. :P If I may recommend a book that my...

Question: Have her words and her actions, with you, been so different as to make you not trust her words or are you only going by past experience? And then is it the words you don't trust or the possibility of different definitions and meanings for the words? Just something to think about.

Making waves can be hard, so make ripples. Cook for them, if you can, more often. Set up romantic meals with the four food groups. Find ways that they like certain things cooked. If you end up ordering out, get pizza, with lots of veggies. It's not perfect, but at least you will be getting the...

This is probably the best way to put it. Just because one individual feels that they only have one, doesn't mean that everyone else has to only have one. Love is not a zero-sum game.

I am, deep down, a romantic at heart. I still believe that the fairytale love, "the one," is possible, and up until the possibility of something more than platonic friendship with Elric, that was my belief. Don't get me wrong, I've read sci-fi and some Heinlien and I had no problem with people...

Sometimes what we need is a good vent. I have found this forum and it's members wonderful and supportive and although I don't think I've ever gotten as freaked as you did here (totally subjective, eh Mono?) I know that the people here try to be supportive no matter your state of mind. It...

Cajun and I were like this when we first started looking into Poly. I always had questions for him and wanted (needed) to know how he felt about something or what he thought about something to the point that every time we were alone, that seemed to be the only topic of conversation. This...

Sounds about right for a hetero quad. Nice diagram too. :)

beauty

A few things popped out at me when I read this. I've marked the specific items in red, meaning RED FLAGS This automatically sends up warning signs, before even reading the rest of your post. Whether or not you have a desire to date anyone else, you are saying he does not ALLOW you. This sounds...

I'm glad that the overnight went all right for you. That is a good step. And although you do have a right to be upset that she was "interfering" with your family time I think a large part of that is the NRE they are feeling. I know I had a hard time not wanting to text or IM Elric all the time...

lol, that's ok Ygirl. Life is a rollercoaster and sometimes it is hard to keep up with the turns and rises and falls. Actually it's more like a soap opera. ;) We had refriended basically for a day because what he thought was helping, him unfriending me to give me a boost to my proposed...