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When it comes down to it, I just don't think she's up for a polyamorous relationship. She gave it some effort because of how she feels about me. But it's just too much for her. She said she doesn't think it's "fair" that we all have to feel the way we do, which I take issue with. But this is how...

I'm still processing how I feel about it. She's probably right. But it's really hard to just turn off the desire. Impossible? No. I've done it before. I just don't want the back and forth anymore.

Bummer I asked MD how she was feeling about us today. She said she felt like keeping intimacy as part of our relationship was putting too much pressure on things, and was screwing up our friendship. She said she loved me and our friendship, and would rather just have a fantastic friendship than...

Happy Anniversary! My hubs and I just celebrated our 14th too :) Congrats!

Today is good Hi, Ry. Thanks for visiting and chiming in. I am doing much better today. Last night was actually FJ's first overnight with MD. The last time he came home around 1am. And to be fair, it was only the second one-on-one date they've had. It is out of balance, because their...

Bad place I'm sorta drunk and not in the best place. I'm lonely as hell while the two people I love are together. FJ is spending the night at MD's place. And I've done that before--but never without having to leave at 7am. I'm a mess. And they are both asking me how I am. I want to say I'm...

Thanks! Thank you all for your responses! They helped me not freak out so much. After much reading, I think my abnormal Pap was due to a yeast infection I had at the time. Also if my HPV test was positive, it's been relatively soon that I got it, considering my husband and I have only had sex...

Well, FJ and I hashed it out, and I felt better leaving the next morning. I know shit happens, and we're all still figuring this out. But GODDAMN. I felt like I was pretty damn clear about my needs. I know I'm responsible for my own happiness. So since then I've been really up and down. Time...

Updates It's been a while since I updated, although I've composed many a post in my head. There has just been so much going on. The visit with LT was fabulous. It was so good to reconnect after everything that's happened this year. She is firmly on my side, asking questions about how MD is...

ISFP-progress? Well-just this weekend I had a moment of frustration with the communication I was getting from MD and freaked a little over text. The next day I said I was fine and to just ignore the freak out. She actually brought it up and we talked it through. So progress? She was obviously...

Isfp Love everything about my ISFP except for that. And it's kinda a biggie for me. I'm hoping as we both want to make this work, we'll meet in the middle. But Lord have mercy-it's a real exercise in empathy for me as an ESTJ. I just took the test again today, and tested ENFJ....I think my...

Introverts and verbal processing LOL monkeystyle! My ISFP doesn't verbally process at all-though she's making an effort for our relationship, and I'm making the effort to adjust my expectations for words of affirmation (my love language) from her. I'm a Virgo and she's a Scorpio.....where does...

Love this shit I love the Myers Briggs! I am an ESTJ-but I like to think of myself as a self-aware ESTJ which balances put my asshole tendencies lol. My husband is an INFP-complete opposites! Took us a while to learn how to talk to each other ;) MD is an ISFP. Damn those introverts who don't...

At my most recent visit to the gyno, my Pap test was abnormal, and my HPV test was positive for a high-risk strain. I got the letter on Saturday. I'd changed phone numbers and forgot to let the doctor know. So I have to wait until tomorrow to call with any questions. But I'm kinda freaking out...

Tonight will be a good night :) I have a sold-out event tonight. Woohoo! The best part is it's a crazy group of fun people, so I'll have a blast and get paid. :) No insecurities about MD and FJ's date tonight. Working hard to get to the root of insecurities and then owning them as my shit to...

Back to compersion Yay! I'm excited for FJ and MD to have some time together! Some of that is because I can feel the love between the two of us, so I don't have to wade through my insecurities to get to my happiness for them. I can tell they are a little tense with each other after the other...

Time Time management could get complicated. Hell, it already is. :confused: FJ is worried he just doesn't have enough to give MD. I tell him it's premature to jump to that conclusion, because she hasn't said what she needs from him. But I can see it weighing on his mind. She asked him to come...

Thanks Thanks, Annabel. We definitely didn't plan any of this, but I've learned so much about myself, and gained a lifelong friend. No matter what happens I know that won't change. All of the advice I've received here has really helped the way I'm approaching this whole thing. Learning as we...

Life keeps moving along Been having some good time with MD. Just helping, moving, talking, joking etc. A couple of days ago after a long day of moving, we all decided to take the kids to a free concert in town. The kids were acting up, and so we packed up and went to have dinner and beers at...

Did the deed... I submitted my 2 week notice and resignation letter yesterday. I didn't get tongue-tied while talking to the executive director, so I felt like I said everything that I had intended to say. In some ways I feel like there's a weight lifted from my back, although this will be the...