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  1. franchescasc

    Partner who can't make up their mind!

    kkxvlv, this, exactly. I can't force the conversation. So I guess I just need to figure out if I'm willing to re-engage without the convo or not. FJ has decided to re-engage and feel it out with MD. He has every right to do that. Doesn't mean I have to.
  2. franchescasc

    Partner who can't make up their mind!

    Not unicorn hunting Lets be clear about a few things. This was in no way unicorn hunting or searching for a triad. All of this has developed naturally. My husband and I did not ever talk about "sharing" a gf or "bringing someone in to our relationship." I vent here not in the same way I vent...
  3. franchescasc

    Partner who can't make up their mind!

    "Maybe her relationship with you will be significantly different from her relationship with FJ. Maybe this will even end up being more of a vee, with chemistry between the two wings than a triad. Could you deal with that scenario, with your husband being the hinge in a vee, or would you ask him...
  4. franchescasc

    Partner who can't make up their mind!

    Blah. Life is never boring these days, that's for sure. So my newest quest for advice, talking down from the cliff, or what have you, is about a partner who is constantly either hot or cold. MD goes back and forth with her feelings. She says that she loves me, has feelings for FJ, and thinks...
  5. franchescasc

    Hello! I am new to poly

    Welcome My husband and I are also both Christians-we actually met in youth group and "saved" ourselves for each other until we were married. My how our ideologies have changed! But at the core, we both still identify as Christian, especially my husband. I am constantly reminded that God is...
  6. franchescasc

    Poly Triad new to forums, looking for a community

    Welcome Welcome to the forum! It's a wealth of great resources, I've learned so much reading through the posts. Keep us updated....I'd love to hear your dynamics.
  7. franchescasc

    Down the Rabbit Hole

    And there it starts.... The next morning, MD and I messaged like crazy. "Are you ok? Do you want to do that again? Damn, your lips tasted good! You're making me crazy! I'm blushing! When can I see you again?" ...and on it went. Her birthday was 2 days later, and we had already planned to hang...
  8. franchescasc

    Down the Rabbit Hole

    My story, continued... So, here I am. Strong marriage, 5 kids, full-time work in community development, high profile in a small town, full of love and disillusioned with religion. When did polyamory or bisexuality come into the picture? I've always been attracted to girls. I even had little...
  9. franchescasc

    Down the Rabbit Hole

    It's so damn hard to find a title for my blog! I literally wrote 4 different titles, but hell, I'll never start blogging if I can't move past the title. I started posting here not too long ago, and have done quite a bit of reading through this forum, which has been immensely helpful. So I...
  10. franchescasc

    Bashing Unicorn Hunters

    I appreciate the warnings... As someone in a developing triad, I have poured over the recommended links and posts about unicorn hunters. Of course our situation is different because my gf and I started up as a totally separate relationship in a V formation. Just recently have my husnand gf...
  11. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    Enjoy it for what it is now? Natja-I guess that's my biggest dilemma. Does this relationship have a timeline on it, or will it just change shape as we grow? She truly is my closest friend right now. No matter what happens, I hope to be lifelong close friends and I know she feels the same...
  12. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    Well that was the plan Exactly BoringGuy. But MD brought up not being happy with the secrecy, so unhappy that we were talking about breaking it off. I just don't know whether to ignore that and go with the flow, or recognize that may be a dealbreaker now.
  13. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    Glimmer of hope? MD, FJ and I have all been talking back and forth. I saw her last night at her work, and she walked by me and put her arm around my waist. Then texted that she didn't know if she couldn't have me in all the ways, and that she really wanted to figure it out. She suggested that...
  14. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    Another thing You know what kills me? People get passes when they have affairs and cheat and lie. Why the hell can't I love openly and honestly?
  15. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    Feelings Yes, everyone has talked and we all know each others' feelings. But MD isn't happy and she is also not willing to come out. So romance is off the table. It feels impossible to turn that off, but I will for her happiness. Right now we are all mourning. Thank you for your perspective. I...
  16. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    My fears realized So, as I feared, keeping it a secret isn't working. MD isn't happy. She says she can't be happy not being able to be open in public or telling her friends. So I am walking away. This hurts like hell. I've never had my heart broken. I've opened myself up and been vulnerable in...
  17. franchescasc

    Surprised to find myself here

    Welcome I'm fairly new here too and also in a V turned triad. We aren't open either, and I know that can be hard. This forum has been a great place for resources and support. I look forward to hearing your experience!
  18. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    Absolutely right Thank you, Scissors! For real, this is the kind of feedback I'm looking for. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. It is very important for me to remind myself that MD is here because she wants to be here. She did say today that she was happy-- she just hates hiding. I...
  19. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    Who knows the future I can see things changing about hiding if we all ultimately moved. Problem is, we have a business established, and 6 children betwen us to worry about uprooting. I just don't know when/if we could make such a big change.
  20. franchescasc

    Keeping it a secret-- How long can that really work?

    I am in a good place right now with my relationships. Overcoming jealousy, head over heels in love, moving past communication barriers, being open and honest. But the biggest concern nagging me is the secrecy and hiding of my relationship (and FJ's, for that matter) with MD. We live in a very...
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