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If we're missing the context it's because you didn't provide it... if you say on a dating site "I'm not really looking" then some people are going to interpret that as you're unavailable. Like I said, it sounded to me like a rejection, and to me it sounded like it was a rejection for him. Your...

As a guy, if I'd read your message, I would also have assumed that you weren't really looking for new people. His "dance card full, my bad luck" sounds to me like an expression of regret at hearing that you're not looking.

If we're following this line of logic then you can never divorce someone either, since that would be breaking your promises to them (until death part us). You can also never fall out of love with them, since that would be breaking your promise as well (to love and to cherish). So, therefore, by...

At my work, the last three girls who have had kids have all done the child-care for the majority, even though, in all three cases, she earned more than he did. For me, I believe that child support is a fair payment, anything else is totally down to the people involved. While you might have made...

Back when I did mono relationships, I had some girlfriends cheat on me. Does this mean that ALL women cheat? I've had trust broken, as I'm sure most people have. That doesn't mean I never trust ANYONE ever again, it just means I don't trust the people who broke it.

Just to clarify, my response to your post was just the one line of "Yay for gender based stereotyping" - the rest of my post was aiming to answer the topic at hand, which was to give my thoughts on whether cheating is a dealbreaker for me. My "yay for gender based stereotyping" was to point out...

To my mind, there's two problems that cause the friction in that sort of topic (UH/OPP/whatever) 1. New members don't spend any time trying to get a feel for how the board works, even people who start their posts "long-time reader, first-time poster" often haven't actually read a lot of topics...

Yay for gender-based stereotyping! Unlike a lot of people in this topic I don't ever deal in moral absolutes. I don't cheat myself, but I don't really care if someone else cheats or not. I make my decisions based on the person and how I feel about them, their situation, risk/reward to myself...

Without any more information, it seems to me that each of you has put up a load of various barriers for your own protection, which are at odds with what each of you wants from the situation. Noone really seems to be communicating honestly about what they want and need.

I think the problem is that people try and put it all into a one dimensional line of non-monogamy like: Swinging -> Open -> Poly (sexual non-monogamy ---> loving non-monogamy) whereas really, because of the huge differences in people, it's not a line but some sort of complex 3d shape, and...

If it's been causing you pain recently, it's time to try something else, namely avoiding getting too close to people in relationships. Be friends, sure, but don't put yourself into situations where you might start crushing on them.

I'm a guy and I just wanted to point out that as soon as they started getting honest with each other, things started feeling better, and she found out that he was interested in some of the things which she swore blind that he wasn't interested in. And his reason? Because he thought she wasn't...

I gotta echo the questions of why would you agree to a monogamous relationship if you knew you didn't want one? It's only been 6 months. Why wouldn't you have said something in the beginning?

To me there's two different sets of people saying "join our relationship" etc, the first is the poly-newbies who are honestly hoping that their unicorn-hunting fantasy will come true and a HBB will join them and love them both equally and everything will be amazing, poly-fi, secondary etc etc...

I don't believe it's that they are incapable, merely that they either do not have the desire to learn, or they don't realise that it is a learnable skill, or they are too caught up in their social programming to know any better. Remember, it is still within the last 50 or so years that female...

I get and understand this attitude, but I don't agree that it's for everyone. You're essentially saying that if you're monogamous you go for a very specific type of relationship (i.e. sexually and romantically exlusive dyad) but if you're poly that you should be open to any other type of...

Ok, thanks for answering all my questions. For now, since it just seems like he's getting moody, I'd continue as you are. If he has a problem with it, then he needs to bring it up. You can't make him overcome his jealousy. He has to want that for himself first. It doesn't seem like you're doing...

The analogy of a pro footballer is also wrong, and also irrelevant. Pro football takes years of training, and given the age range that you can play within it means that you have to start playing and be given decent training when you're very young. That said, ANYONE who gets that level of...

You're completely and 100% wrong that it's something you're born with and not something you learnt. You (well, he) can definitely learn all this stuff (aside from the penis size, of course). It's a combination of knowledge, experience and a genuine desire to satisfy someone else. But it...

It's one of those things where, if it's that important to you, you have to say it upfront. When people say things about kids and marriage and stuff early on, it's not because they're saying "let's have kids" or "let's get married" it's because they're trying to give you an idea of where they...