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Some questions for Aurelia: How often are you having sex with Geoff? Who initiates? How often? Are there any times when he initiates and you say no? How often are you looking after your son to give Geoff an opportunity to pursue his own interests, whatever they may be? How often are you...

Said what I was going to say. NRE makes for bad decision-making.

Does her "primary" actually know about this secondary relationship? Just because a) she's debated which "one" to choose, b) she is against you meeting him and hasn't provided a reason why not which leads to c) you backwards rationalise this by saying he must be mono and can't accept her. Just a...

A better question than "how do I confront her?" could be "Why does her cuddling him bother me so much?" If it's because you're looking for alone time, then start making some ACTUAL alone time with just you and your boyfriend. If it's just jealousy, then that's an issue you have to work on. To...

The problem is that he's been very clear. Whether we agree with his methods or not, the one thing I can't say about him is that he's dishonest. He's quite specifically said that if you try and stop him you can't have a relationship with him. So take the hint and dump his ass. The two of you are...

The right advice has already been given, so I won't bother repeating it, I just wanted to say something in the guy's defense about being sexual early. The thing for me is that talking about sex early isn't pushy, that's just a part of your dating/relationship style. I talk about sex very early...

If people don't know enough about you to comment, it's because YOU didn't give them the information. If you didn't give them enough information to comment, then how did you ever expect to get any help, and therefore why bother posting in the first place?

You're criticising the system because a couple of people couldn't handle it. The lesson? Some people are pretty shit. Get used to it. Whether it's a harem fantasy or not is irrelevent, the fact is you moved things along too fast, and got bitten. When the two (Adrianne and Lana?) were going at...

To me, it sounds like she doesn't actually want to spend much time with you, and I can't see her making any effort to spend quality time together. For that reason, I think you should break up with her. If meeting your family makes her miserable (as in literally makes her upset) then I'd suggest...

Ah, but that's not what you said before. You said they were writing each other's resolutions, which is the same as telling each other what to work on. Now you're saying that it's just suggestions of things they might like to do. If it really is the second one, then that's fine, but tbh, just...

I can't think of anything worse than someone telling me what to work on for the next year. Mind you, since they're not coming up with it for themselves, they're more likely to fail, since there's no personal investment in it for them. If I were you, I'd be glad that I wasn't a part of this...

I wasn't trying to "take issue" with his use of language, just he said that English wasn't his first language so I wanted to make sure that he meant seeing as in "catching sight of" rather than "sleeping with/fucking/having sex with" since that's important to his story. I have no problem with...

Because rape and a one night stand are totally the same thing... (since you were stupid enough to assume I included drugging people as a one night stand, I'll go ahead and point out that I'm being sarcastic here). As for drunkenness, alcohol merely lowers your inhibitions. It can't make you do...

I always sigh a little inside when I see the whole ONS = no emotions. That's not true at all, otherwise you might as well just masturbate. Excitement of someone new is an emotion, the curiosity of a warm new body is an emotion. ONS does not imply zero emotion, it implies (well in fact it...

If you look at my first post, this is exactly what I said was the issue. You talk about her emotional needs and give him no help on how to deal with them specifically. Being honest is NOT ENOUGH. He needs to make her aware that this is uncontrollable and is therefore a HARD BOUNDARY. He...

But the veto doesn't forbid FEELINGS, only ACTION. Just like monogamy doesn't prohibit you from FEELING something for another person, only acting upon it. If a partner is going to abuse the power of veto, then I am simply going to disregard that veto. People are talking very theoretically...

Maybe this is just a language issue, but to me, when someone says they are SEEING someone, that means they're sleeping with someone. Are you sleeping with other people or just looking at them. If it's looking at them, you're doing nothing wrong, if it's sleeping with them, then you are doing...

A lot of people gave advice about opening up the relationship, but, to me, there doesn't seem to be any real desire from Marbit to open his relationship up (aside from the standard "it'd be nice to have sex with others" that almost every guy thinks ;)), he just doesn't want to catch shit for...

I would say that if you're mentioning it casually then it's not "coming out." To me, coming out implies the big "I am..." speech. Acknowledging your poly in regular conversations isn't coming out, it's just being out, IMO.

Interesting PoV on Veto http://www.scarletletters.com/current/021403_nf_rk.html I've always been against the veto since I don't agree with an outside party being able to end a relationship, but I thought this was an interesting point of view - the idea that you trust someone enough to make...