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Sorry to hear it's hard for you :( I did try and mention my "non-disclosure" attitude, in that I don't really talk about relationships with anyone (apart from with the people with whom I'm in relationships) so there's never any "hidden" stuff. I relate to my family and friends just the same...

Ok, I think we should make a clarification here. I don't have any desire to come out, which means that either I'm not in the closet, or I'm happy in that closet. TBH, if people have a consensus that what I do means that I'm in the closet, then that's fine, because the situation I'm in is one I...

It's probably just me, but I've never seen the appeal in "coming out." I've never seen the need either - why would anyone need to know that x is my girlfriend or y is also my girlfriend? They're just labels anyway, I tend to refer to people by their names instead of trying to fit them into a...

I'm normally the biggest proponent of listening to your instincts, but in this case I think they might be misleading you. I think your gut feeling that she doesn't like you is HEAVILY influenced by your knowledge of the situation - i.e. because you know about the relationship and they don't...

If there's a potential pregnancy involved then you need to make sure that you're all on the same page RIGHT NOW about what might happen in the future. If it is really going to bother you if she has a child by this guy, then you need to say so upfront. You also need to work out what's going to...

Another person who doesn't consider the difference between making a judgement and being judgemental. If judgement is natural and human, then why have 41% of transgender people attempted suicide? (as just one example). Do you think it might have something to do with the the prejudice they face...

I'd have two possible theories about bisexual women vs bisexual men: 1. Men are, generally, a lot more black and white than women. Therefore the idea of bisexual is a lot less "masculine" - not in a traditional "macho" sense, but simply that it's more of a male nature to be either gay or...

My point is that NOT EVERY OPP SITUATION is based on this. I'm saying that the underlying assumption that a OPP is borne out of jealousy and fear is INCORRECT. If the situation IS about fear and jealousy then I agree that men should definitely work on their issues. However, what I am saying is...

Sorry, I'm not meaning to make this all about rory's situation, rather I'm using it as an example of someone using the term OPP to imply an unhealthy/bad situation, where this is not the case. My point isn't that we shouldn't USE words like OPP, it's that we shouldn't use words like OPP to...

Good point. I mean after all, his poly is better than everyone else's. It's not like two or more people can negotiate relationship systems that work for their own personal situations. Conformity for the win.

If we take the context, it was rory, who's been active on this forum for a long time, and started opening up her relationship 4 years ago (all info from the topic). Hardly "new to polyamory" really. She also mentioned that she was more interested in girls than guys. Yet the implication was...

Maybe I'm misreading the situation, but I'm not seeing a whole load of communication going on here. You ask us not to judge that you're telling your boyfriend to willingly conceal information from his other girlfriend, but then you get mad at her because she's taking a certain night. It just...

When people say OPP it's usually THEIR reaction to the idea of being with only one man. They frame is as derogatory and "man-induced" because they wouldn't accept a situation like that themselves. What they seem to forget is that, more often than not, it's a JOINT negotiation. Take a fictional...

I know you're talking about getting into another relationship, but poly is a two-way process. It sounds as though you're going to have the most issues with him having another partner, and you're hoping to mask that bad feeling by getting someone yourself. The problem with this is that you still...

None, and I don't see myself ever going either - I don't see the attraction of meeting with other people who have a similar relationship status to me, the only reason I'd consider going is to find other poly people to date (without all the explanations that come with someone who doesn't know of...

I'm not surprised about saturation; there's a lot of it around! Fortunately for me, it's actually a very good "What No To Do" guide, if I am ever considering someone to join us as a third person.

I think that once you get people who are in tune enough with polyamory that they're looking for a triad but aren't unicorn hunters, then all you're really left with is polyamorists. I'm in a dyad currently. We'd both be interested in a triad, since she's a bisexual female and I'm a straight...

This post above is a technical definition post. Your previous one, not so much.

Or in other words, "My poly is better than your poly"?

The problem for us here as commentators, is that all we know about them is that they've got a non-monogamous arrangement. We don't know whether they were looking or not, and we don't know how much they wanted it or not. As an example, I'm with someone at the moment, we've both had other...