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gemzi and i, among many others feel that most things happen for a reason, even though you may never know the reason, and sometimes it slaps you in the face. everyone involved made choices, as much as they hurt either self or one another. for my $0.03, i say that after not standing up for you...

well spoken blackunicorn.

not everyone is cut out for poly, not everyone is willing to "share" or play nice when another suitor shows up. we men can feel very inadequate, insecure, etc.... we also come wired by nature to provide, protect, defend, keep all the other males away mentality that can not be helped, some of us...

i could totally be off base with this one, so i am going to qualify it first and not wait for an answer.... lol your attraction to will, did it come on fast, without warning, almost un-explainable..... (again this is about the first attraction) or was it one of those things that built up over...

basically..... i quit my job! so i could spend more time painting, and doing artwork. ok ok, there were other things... job was becoming a nightmare and our jobs were moved to michigan, we were just hanging in there until they decided they didnt really need us anymore. today i said good bye...

wow... ok at the risk of sounding too sensitive..... paschendale, your first question said a lot about you, and the answer is simple. yes, just like some people are built for it, others are not. what i would say about your friends reactions.... you are not alone, poly is not for everyone, in...

i guess it really depends on the people involved. seems like the situation is not as ideal as it once was. life does have a habit of getting in the way sometimes, and presenting challenges to the things or people we want to do or see. are you able to set up a date night, day, or something of...

honesty has always been very important for us. on one hand i can understand him not telling you ahead of time if he was only being half assed about searching. although it does not sound like it was half assed. on the other hand, when asked, it should have been no big deal for him to tell you...

kealoah! ok you might be right. eat breath... i could do without food for a while schtuff

i like cindies idea of a probation period of sorts.... its a great idea. reality though sometimes rears its ugly head. i dont know you well enough yet julia, to know if you can compartmentalize your feelings like that. I myself have the benefit of being able to redirect feelings back toward my...

ok definitely have to agree with magdlyn on my fav hobby. SEX, yes!!! your eyes do not deceive you, i just used capital letters. painting (artwork) geocaching steampunk creations (just beginning) riding motorcycles among other things. lucky 7, def post some pics somewhere and let me know, i...

not that i am ever right.... i think if you give it some time, things might come around again. she may have felt pressured or overwhelmed, or maybe even as if you were "telling" her how and what she would be doing next. this was a cross roads, and she apparently enjoyed it. doesnt mean that...

welcome, ima kinda new too the boards too. glad you discovered poly, and a great resource for info, and experience here. schtuff

as predicted my wife took the test and here are the results. me her 8 7 Words of Affirmation 8 8 Quality Time 1 3 Receiving Gifts 2 9 Acts of Service 11 3 Physical Touch this does give me something to work on. i have been...

thanks julia. i was not surprised by my love language. and i think the misses's's's (i hate apostrophes) might be different. oh great.... now i am having an epiphany! sheesh now i have to think.... about relationship schtuff, and emotions. (not easy for us emotionally stunted men). ok...

my wife's fav saying lately is.... ready?.... "why are men so emotionally stunted?" that said.... its only been a week. the progression seems natural, the two ladies involved had been there and took it a little further. things naturally progress, and probably would have continued to. but us...

on your side persuasion... i have been through what you are going through, its not easy. it feels like things are falling apart, and heartbreak, like a partner is being pulled away. just a devils advocate kind of persuasion.... nre is powerful, and typically its not intentional. even if...

agreeing with previous comments. the ms. is going through just that situation right now. she gets very emotionally involved very quickly, she has a big heart. she always has me to lean on, as i always have her to lean on. we share our joys and sorrows. so while she is going through this...

thank you for the welcome. dinged, 14 years yes, but from time to time we still feel like newbies. which honestly is what brought me to the forum. i needed a bit of centering, and to glean some encouragement with a current situation. which i am glad to say that i found. as for how many...

ok yeah that was a bit dorkish, which makes it appropriate. :p i myself am a husband, father, artist. as you can see, capitalization escapes me, and as you will see so do apostrophes, except for the odd occasion, and spell check hates me! i also take pride in my dorkitude, and relentless...