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  1. R

    *waves shyly* Hello

    If there's somebody here who knows about long distance relationships, it's Tonberry. When she and I first got together (we've been married two years now) there was a difference of eight time zones, and right now her boyfriend is in another country, so you could say making long distance work is...
  2. R

    Starting my poly life

    Okay, I'm going to put my point of view on, although Tonberry is largely correct in her interpretation of what happened, except for a few key points. The first is that my self-confidence didn't get lower as a result of her seeing Sean in person for the first time, that blow came later in a...
  3. R

    On coming out, and false friends

    Being in a small town Tonberry and I have to be careful, so I've been carefully testing the waters about who is going to be judgemental if and when they do find out. So a few days ago I got a speel from a coworker about how open relationships never work out, either the couple will close off or...
  4. R

    Starting my poly life

    Don't worry, I know I never forget how lucky I am and I'm sure Sean doesn't either. It's one thing to know it and another to feel it when the rejection is still fresh, that's all.
  5. R

    Starting my poly life

    If you figure out a way to, I think Sean and I would get first dibs on some.
  6. R

    Starting my poly life

    You shouldn't feel like you're the only one who Sean and I have to look to for support either, because you're forgetting that Sean and I are friends now who can commiserate with someone else who gets it. I can understand why you feel upset with J, though, even though I hope the two of you will...
  7. R

    Starting my poly life

    Tonberry and I are back from vacation now, but it will take a bit of time to catch up on everything though. I heard back from J, she's not interested in any sort of relationship beyond being friends and coworkers. While it doesn't exactly make me happy, it's not unexpected and I can live with...
  8. R

    a bit of advice please

    It's not something that can easily be explained to people, and I'm at a point now where I'm coming to understand it myself after having an open marriage for well over a year and my wife having a boyfriend for several months. It wasn't exactly the easy route to understanding, I had to do a lot...
  9. R

    a bit of advice please

    I had to explain something similar to a friend of mine the other day, who was wondering why I would want to date someone other than my wife to begin with (my wife, Tonberry on the forums, is poly and introduced me to the concept, so there wasn't any drama on her part about my interest in J). As...
  10. R

    Ms Kitty's Polyamory Blog

    She is awesome, Sean and I are two very lucky men. :)
  11. R

    Starting my poly life

    I should also mention that Lumpy, the cat previously mentioned, wasn't hurt and quickly forgave me for the accident last night.
  12. R

    Starting my poly life

    Yesterday just felt like a huge emotional setback, in pretty much all aspects of my life. I basicly sunk into an sudden, extremely deep depression, which fortunately isn't as severe today. First... I bit the bullet and sent the email to J. She'll know how I feel about her by the time I get...
  13. R

    Starting my poly life

    After a couple of days of feeling somewhat better... my mood has crashed again. I'm just feeling like a complete and utter failure right now. A failure at making my feelings known to J, a failure to Tonberry as a husband... I can't even do the laundry right... just feeling completely useless...
  14. R

    Starting my poly life

    I've also decided that perhaps telling J immediately might not be the best approach... I'm going to take my vacation and enjoy it, and I'm going to tell her how I feel in person after I get back. I want her to see that I am happy for her, not to have to wonder if I'm just saying the words if I...
  15. R

    Starting my poly life

    I reached the point last night where I realised I could either be happy for J that she met someone or I could feel sorry for myself... and it seems that thought was what I needed. I really am happy for her, just as I would have been happy for her to have met someone if she and I had been dating...
  16. R

    What are the benefits to being in a poly relationship?

    I've never once in my life regretted the emotions that came with falling for someone, I'm not about to start now. It might not have turned out well in the end, but I had a happy summer believing it could. I'll take that for what it's worth.
  17. R

    On coming out, and false friends

    I came out to two of my coworkers yesterday and I have to say that the best work to sum it up, besides surprise, was curiosity. I told them about compersion, how couples will set rules to differentiate it from cheating, about being open with each other's partners in general terms, as well as...
  18. R

    Starting my poly life

    Tomorrow when I get home from work I'm going to send an e-mail to J telling her my feelings so she has some time to respond before I leave for vacation. She told me honesty is best, and if someone can't handle that then it was never meant to me, and I'm going to take her at her word. I'd go...
  19. R

    What are the benefits to being in a poly relationship?

    I'd commented that I'd post if poly has been worth it for me once I knew better how things would go with J, and I'm quite sure I know now that she's not interested. The emotions are still raw and fresh, I feel stupid for believing in false hopes and seeing signs that weren't there, and I hate...
  20. R

    Who started it?

    It was definitely Tonberry who started our poly relationship.
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