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I've seen a few interviews with the author of this, and one of the claims in the book is that monogamy is more unnatural for women than for men. Also, that much of a woman's sex drive is basically controlled or dampened through societal pressure. Just wondering if anyone here has read it and...

Really can't think of a good title for this that wouldn't be really long... Anyway, once in a while I see a monagamous person posting, or a person who is poly but with a monagamous person who allows it and my question is directed at you guys. :) What made you (or your monagamous partner)...

Umm... is "crush a can" a euphemism for something? :?

GalaGirl: Thanks, that does help and makes a lot of sense. There is some uniqueness to our situation, but I think you mostly hit the nail on the head. Where we are now is that I think she does act out at me and pick fights. Once the fight progresses to the point where I get angry, she...

So, three years ago I'd never been in a relationship and my understanding of sex was basically that it was something which could only occur in a relationship. I'd only recently even lost my virginity (sadly at the age of 32.) I had heard of "open" relationships from a couple friends, but...

I think you need to define "obviously." Yes, and given that a partner is a prominent stimulus, they are likely to have a large impact on that growth. What, you've never seen a guy suddenly get into country music because he's dating a girl who loves country music? Oddly, humans are a bit...

Moowithelsie, I'd think you should _start_ with this. Maybe you're just overreacting and she is just good friends with this ex. Maybe you can work it out before going into a polyamory discussion or even trying to decide yourself. You might just be jumping the gun... especially after only a...

If you think they want to sleep with you, why do you think they need you to be single? If you think these women want to sleep with you, but wouldn't because you're not single, why do you think polyamorous women wouldn't want to sleep with you? In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them...

Unfortunately that's just how some of us think. Guys who are good at getting women seldom stop to think about it. They just seem to know what to do. There are guys like me, and PolyLinguist to some extent, that really DON'T know what to do... so we need lots of help. Luckily, we're not...

You misunderstand. I'm not saying you don't or shouldn't want a relationship. I'm saying that you have other strengths. You've lived on three continents, making you worldly. You can probably break out a decent accent, right? Women love accents. Everything you listed in your first post is a...

I don't think wanting a relationship was ever your strength! Frankly from your background I suspect you can/will do great once you get past your insecurity about this. Well, you could look up some stuff on body language and signals. There are even "pick up artist" web sites out there that can...

I think people are over complicating this. The real answer is: Just look for women who like intellectual, serious, unconventional men. :) Be careful talking about "majorities." Doing so robs people of their individuality. You said you had no problem having women as friends... so it...

I wish I'd had the chance to broach the subject... she actually saw OK Cupid in my browser history and asked me if I wanted to see other people one night. I'm all but incapable of lying, so I said I'd thought about it. That discussion did not end well...

She says she's not at all open to it and actually morally opposed to it. However... she never seems to think twice about infidelity presented in TV shows or movies. She even seems to really like male characters who are known for cheating, which makes me wonder if she's not as against it as she...

I'm not exactly a stickler for staying on topic... :)

So of course everyone has doubts sometimes. I'm slowly heading towards polyamory, but I'm currently in a monogamous relationship that I don't really want to give up. I do love her and sometimes I can see being with her forever, but I'm not sure I can see never wanting to be with anyone else...

I got into a fight with my girlfriend a few weeks ago because after a dream she brought up the poly thing, and I said I wouldn't be jealous if she slept with someone else but would be upset that she did so when I'm not allowed. She got upset that I wouldn't be jealous, and I really didn't...

I think pretty much all of life is an ongoing process... :) I actually played Calvinball once with some friends. It was interesting... and in many ways easier than Scrabble. Especially when I get all consonants. ;)

Really? I've reworded my question twice. Once for you and once for Magdlyn... just to get the answer to the same basic question. I'm not trying to be dismissive, I'm trying to get other perspectives. It's not always semantics, but in this case it really is. The question isn't "What is...