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It probably isn't helpful to keep trying to pick apart everything River said. Lots of people give advice others don't agree with, I'd suggest just letting it go. It's a public forum, if you aren't open to a a wide variety of feedback, then asking for advice probably isn't something you will...

I'd suggest not moving in right away, but if you're going to, it would be smart to discuss ahead of time what the back up plans are for each of you if it doesn't work out, if one or more of you decided co-habitating is not working, hell, YOU might even find that friendship living with R was...

Well, you don't have to say anything negative to your boyfriend. You could ask if he would mind ignoring his phone when you are on dates together. Maybe have him ask her to call if there is an emergency. I don't think it's fair to label her as needy unless she's throwing a fit if he doesn't...

That is awesome. My mom is a swinger. She really just didn't get how it was "safe" to be open other than that, even though she and her husband were very close friends with a number of their swing partners. I can see how not knowing the options can make you feel differently about polyamory. I...

I'm just throwing out some random thoughts... You're attracted to Laura. You haven't mentioned (unless I missed something) that Laura and Greg have an open relationship in a sexual way? Even if they do, there are a lot of steps between that and anything else. You may be latching onto Laura's...

I think part of the reason my ex husband and I are so great 8 years later is that though the relationship ended due to deal breakers on his end, I owned up to things I had done that made it clear I wasn't perfect, instead of trying to act as if a relationship ended one sided. I also wanted to...

Thanks Rory! Brian was pretty late, which made me nervous, but Adam is used to people being flaky and cuts them MUCH more slack than I do - when he got there it was easy and relaxed I think, I beat them soundly in 2/3 games, and although I don't know if there will ever be a close "lets play...

I really appreciate your response. I could've said it differently, the idea of being sexual in more than a twosome is terrifying for me unless I am already friends with everybody, so I just wanted to encourage you to see that might be possible for her too. And of course you'd think she would...

Hmm, I am going to be honest and say you seem defensive, which you have every right to be, but I'll point out that if you were my partner and reacted like that to me in a discussion or that attitude was coming through in your tone, I'd be put off and closed down. Of course your voice matters...

Er...are they bringing up the age difference just because? Or are they bringing it up in relationship to some issue you are having? I wouldn't recommend anybody age 18 to have a kid, period. If they wanted to, I'd suggest to do so sanely would mean having at least a two-year long dating...

I can certainly say that I am very sure that group sex or swinging was NOT what I wanted. If my husband had suggested a foursome as a gateway to poly I would've said, "No way is that happening," and might have closed down if he didn't seem to see a different alternative. Might as well have...

The only time Adam and Brian met was a brief introduction when Brian picked me up for dinner last year. Adam comes home sometimes on nights where Brian is still here, but usually goes onto his computer so they haven't crossed paths again. It's been going on two years and it's been bothering me...

Awww I mean obviously it was hot and awesome but at the end of it all I could think was "awww, that's so sweet". I'm glad you all had such a wonderful time!

Okay. How would you prefer to spend your holiday season? I think that is the thing you need to work out in your head. Ignore all their guilt-tripping (though that's something you probably need to be working on with them), and pretend they'd both be fine with whatever decisions you'd make. Write...

Well, you could just sit back and refrain from dating until he finds somebody. If you haven't met somebody you really click with thats not the worst idea. You wont DIE if you dont take advantage of all the great opportunities the world presents women (seemingly) more than men in poly. Do you...

I would ask not to be told how often my partners have sex - it's not my business and if its hurting you and not something you find sexy, then ask for it to not be mentioned again. Not that you wont know they are having sex, but why would you want reasons to be unhappy, to have the subject come...

I would just stop any contact with her outside of pleasant friendliness at group events. A number of the things you are saying are her trying to be hurtful don't necessarily come across as that way to me, but since they do to you, I would not hang out with her, as clearly she isn't going to...

Oh DH ;) I don't know what you'd like to know. If you consider there is a liberal spectrum of poly from rigid to anything goes, I am where I am, and I don't really care where anybody else is unless it means dating them wouldn't be sensible, or I think somebody is being hurt by it. I don't like...

You could say "I'll be out of town" especially if you don't plan to be texting him while you are off for the weekend. And if you DO plan on texting him, and you think he might feel even more uncomfortable thinking about how you were talking to him while off with MrB, I'd probably want to say it...

I kind of thought what AnnabelMore said too, when I saw the TITLE of the post, I was reminded of your situation, then when I saw YOU had posted it I figured it was going to be a a question about your recent dating/stopping dating because you and E overdid it, so I was surprised to see you were...