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I'm sorry Cleo :( I really do think that there is a LOT of loss going on in people's lives this year - seeing it left and right in big ways. I know it's sure as hell not about you being a failure or bad partner, and I hope that with a bit of time you can only remember the any good/useful things...

Sad and worried - woke up to find one of my metamours is suddenly in the hospital and on her way to surgery. Our shared partner has had more people he loves in the hospital facing scary things in the 6 months I've known him than I have in my entire life and I've been overwhelmed trying to...

I'll go on up to three dates if I think is somebody is great and might be good to know but don't feel I'm attracted to them. After my first date with Adam I was not attracted to him at all and only interested in being friends. As I was sure surprised when a couple meetings later we were...

If you know what you need, and what your firm boundaries are, it seems the only sane thing to do (in any relationship) is to say so, so the other party can make their decision if it works for them, or negotiate if there is a need.

It's been a weird stressful few weeks, but I'm getting settled in from our sudden move. Found out I can get home from Brian's house in 22 minutes as opposed to the old 30 :D Got to have dinner last night with his partner who I only met very briefly over two years ago and had a blast...

I'd stop trying to change your husband to be what you want and accept what he does offer sexually, and take it or leave it. If he doesn't want to change actively, it's a waste of time to push for that. Comparing sexual dynamics between partners is a lose-lose situation. That said, David...

I also just want to say, just because he's in an open marriage doesn't mean he is poly, as you can tell from what's happened, each person's open relationship can be very different, so talking about the specifics, including stuff like those "secondaries" questions and how they handle it when...

I know that no matter how important sex is to me, I get turned off when somebody seems too focused on bringing it up ASAP unless they are looking to fill a specific BDSM/kink dynamics and not interested in relationships that don't include it, OR have low libido partners and want to make sure not...

I think it's not a problem to ask for no texting during certain times. Somebody agreeing is not a sure thing. But to me, text is no different than the phone. When I'm on a scheduled date night with my husband, we don't text/phone others during, and if we get a text we don't answer. We tell...

Is this going to be a non-sexual visit? I don't know what would work for you, but for me I would want to focus on getting to know the other party, hanging out, having dinner, watching movies, playing board/video games, whatever you might share in common. From what I've seen lots of people...

Hate to derail more, but people don't only shed the virus during an outbreak. I had a metamour in a UW study where they were testing just how often the virus was present on the skin, and it can be a good chunk of the year. Since it's also going to be spread during oh say..ejaculatory female...

Well I'm not ignorant about STI's, but I can sure see ending a relationship under those circumstances. Guy in this case has the option of telling partner B he wont end it with partner A, and then partner B can go ahead and choose to break up with Guy if its that important to them to not get...

I met my husband on there almost a decage ago shortly after I found it, wrote to my partner of 2+ years after seeing his profile there, and during a brief period where I turned on my profile again to copy/paste my info, my partner of now 5 months wrote to me. I'd say I've met a lot of nice...

I feel like chiming in here... "to appease the likes of her" seems a bit offensive to me I just had to say. If you're going to resume a relationship with her at some point (and if I were her, I couldn't say what you write in here makes it sound very appealing) its not about putting HIS needs...

Thanks RP! And...oh DH...I'll remember that. Yes, I'm sure everybody I date will start competing to make me the best french pastries and bonbons and soon I'll spend all day lounging around watching soaps and...oh crap most of those are off the air arent they... scrap that plan The cake is...

Wow DH...I don't even know what to say to..most of that! Thank you though :p What does LEF mean.... urban dictionary doesn't seem to think it's dirty. I had a very nice date with Brian last night, and got home to find Adam (who has cooked for me 5 times in a decade) finishing a cake he'd made...

Cats ARE better than people, aren't they. Also one of mine just vomited all over my vacuum cord making extra 3D cleanup work :/ I was considering taking relationship lessons from them until that happened.

I've seen queries about this subject on Fetlife every couple of weeks or so, and there's usually lots of advice from people who are in that position, mainly on the poly and kinky forum, but you also might find it just as interesting to read the Two Dominants forum (I haven't, but...) since it...

Congrats!!!! And nobody's tired of reading about it - your processing helps shine a light on similar situations in others lives (ya know, like mine). You do seem to be learning from it, that's what this hard to deal with shit's about. Sucks, but gotta love these growth opportunities :rolleyes:

We have a chart I put together with different barrier requirements for different STIs, that means some activities are off the table period when dating people with certain STI's. Some will require gloves or other barriers, or we can choose to not do the activity. I don't mind having gloves used...