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Well, you could ask her that first one, but it sounds like your answer to her request is "No," so I would just say no. If she does not take it well, then, personally, I'd make a decision to stop seeing her, as that behavior doesn't make much sense at all to me, and is counter to what you seem to...

I'm sorry about the situation you find yourself in. In your place, I would certainly not try to make it work, but you might want to see if Jax would be willing to go to couples counseling first, before talking about James moving in (or anything of that nature) again. It would probably be...

I'm guessing if she had had better manners in that first meeting, you'd be feeling much less stressed right now. When my husband meets people I am dating, I give them a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye. I can't even picture doing more than that unless I'd made sure any and all partners were...

Since I am reading through the life blogs...your past words and future polite niceness would be enough, I would actually feel pretty uncomfortable if somebody gave me a physical gift after having sex with my husband for the first time. I don't mind if metamours give me gifts on holidays...

Hey there, sounds like you're having some serious stress. I'm a... twin as you say, and most of the important relationships of my life have been lions. Every time I look at horoscopes (and I do regularly, because I put a good chunk of stock in it) for gemini women with other signs, it often...

Hmm I can see agreeing not to tell people who are their coworkers or uncle or something, but if it was a mutual friend, I would probably hastily exit the relationship - I would not want to feel like I had to live a lie of omission from people who I cared about. I hope you do have a clear...

Yeah it makes sense to me. I don't have any non sexual partners & I don't know if it would be right for me...I picture it as either being lustless romantic love (nice) or a real frustrating situation where one of us wants sex and the other doesn't or maybe there's romance and low level lust but...

Ah Valentines day. Yesterday was my regular date night with Brian, and I stayed over (pretty uncommon for various reasons) and had a lovely evening. Tonight is low key stuff with Adam, we're saving "stupid romantic date" stuff for our regular date night tomorrow. Overall I am feeling...

Sorry you are hurting. Might be a good idea to ask him to stop contacting you for awhile (most people seem to like at least 30 days of no contact if possible, which seems to enable friendliness/friendships to survive the breakup)

@polymiami, if you get a bit of clarity in this thread, I want to say you should start a new thread. It might get you more advice, and by then you'll hopefully have clearer ideas of what you want. (I always find it takes me a couple of layers of questions before I figure out just what I am upset...

I imagine you did whatever you were going to do already, but, asking if a week between dates is too soon? "Typical" mindsets would say that somebody wasn't that interested in you if they waited more than a week between dates. Calling the night before? I hear you're supposed to turn people down...

I'd just ask him straight to his face about it, say I was worried after I saw that comment, and that I'd just like him to be honest with me. If he maintains he was at a friends (does he normally spend nights at friends houses?) and his answers don't sit right with you, I'd message the other...

I'm sure GG was referring to your husband (that's how I took it), but this statement also applies 100% to you. It doesn't sound like you are being present for him anymore. I understand there's not a burning motivation to do so for a myriad of reasons, but it's kind of a Catch 22 when both of...

Ok, I don't really get why you chose a poly forum to post in, and I don't appreciate the ho comment either, maybe you need to come up with a degrading term for yourself too just to be fair when you tell this story. You seem conflicted. Are you saying the girl you had a crush on and the one...

Really it is how you make it. I get the sense people who were already married when they decided to try poly are more likely to "do hierarchy", and people who were being poly before they got into cohabitating or life partnerships are somewhat less likely to do it. Each person using...

I don't envy you this position. I am guessing you feel horrible about yourself too for being involved in cheating - you feel bad about it, he doesnt, maybe you envy that he doesn't care, maybe mostly you envy that she seems so interested in him. I'm also not clear if she broke up with the...

So there are two issues: 1. being poor company and ignoring you 2. getting reassurance Perhaps if you had his full or mostly full attention when he was with you, you wouldn't need reassurance at the end of his dates. I wouldn't be troubled by a partner mentioning they had a late night with a...

I do feel compelled to respond to this. I am not sure you realize how many times (and it might be more clear especially if you reread your recent posts and add them up) that you've said Airyn has to stop what you're doing because he thinks he is supposed to go make her feel better And Airyn is...

Of course you can change your mind. Did she finish paying the money back she put on your credit card? If not, that's certainly an extra strong reason to not co-anything with her until she's proved she is responsible. I'd sure be looking long term at any possible negatives it could end up...

I am surprised I'd never seen this thread until today! I think W has asked for way too much too many times, and I think you will regret that you've always caved to what she wants. That might be a good issue to work on in counseling, too-- why you aren't comfortable saying no when you mean no...