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I've seen people here who see them as cheating, and people who don't think they are. I happen to think they are an insidious form of cheating, and intolerable to me. I don't see it as poly if it isn't ethical and consensual. If you think your partner would not think it was ethical, you probably...

Have you answered the question: "Why don't I want to break up with somebody whose actions have led to so much turmoil, unhappiness and stress for me in just one month?"

I have some stuff going on in my head, I don't particularly think that rambling about it will help me come to any conclusions, but maybe I'll get lucky. I may have rambled about a bit of this before. Chemistry... Kissing.... I have the "problem" that I don't often find myself instantly...

That is totally different. If I were in your particular situation I'd check with my husband to make sure he is at least mostly on board with making things "official" as the guy seems like he is a bit uncomfortable thinking your husband isn't thrilled so you actually KNOW what he thinks. Then...

I second Marcus, and add that if you don't have one, maybe schedule at least one day a week where you and he don't have any domestic duties to take care of together, so there is time and space to relax. Maybe make it a set date day to go somewhere low key, as it sounds like romantic dinners...

I think a simple "Would you like to go out on a date with me" should suffice. That's not particularly vague - and easily done through email or on the phone if you are nervous to do it in person. edit: and this can easily lead to a conversation about the topic if he has questions about what you...

Yes, you already answered yourself several times. He is not good for you, and it doesn't sound like he's a considerate partner. It's fine if he doesn't want to have sex with you and you want to accept that, but then there isn't anything kind in informing you how much kinky sex he is having...

I almost chimed in with my 2 cents earlier but I wasn't feeling up to it. Why don't you just leave him alone? Stop trying to explain, encourage, share stuff with him. If a metamour was nonstop trying to get me to see their viewpoint, or reassure me, when I just wanted them to leave me alone and...

http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/amores-mltiples-poly-in-spain-and-new.html http://www.plataformaeditorial.com/ficha/261/1/726/las-virtudes-del-poliamor.html All it took was five seconds on google to find one.

That's awesome, I can hear the accent in my head, typos and all!

I don't think you need to put his needs before your own. Are you actually romantically bisexual with the right female, or just willing and able to have sexual relationships with the right one? If you picture engaging in long lasting relationships and not just fun sex I don't think that last one...

Did you used to orgasm a lot during sex with your husband? I've found that to be mainly about penis shape for me. I.e., with a curved penis, I wouldn't ever orgasm from intercourse alone, a straight penis, the opposite. Anyway, I think there's an unhealthy amount of responsibility being put on...

So I gather he may be monogamous and not poly? I once started a relationship with a long-term friend, who was going to move from Canada to Washington State, and move in with my then husband and me. It would've had the potential to be a co-primary situation, but it was only under the agreement...

I'd imagine it implies he's doing something wrong by being on a dating site/pursuing people. Hmm, that says a lot about me that I worry people wouldn't take a joke with the intent it was meant. I better work on my sense of humor!

Hah... I like how my first thought was...but I'm poly so I can't say that!

Somebody with the user name of a Greek god sent me this - ::notices you:: Do you dare to exchange dialogue? Or do you flee? It's about the funniest message I've gotten to date, and his profile is amusing. I'm assuming it's a cut and paste message but I'm sure it probably attracts the...

I, for one, think you are doing very well with these changes and challenges, all things considered. I'm guessing I personally would've cut and run from Mono a few months ago, as the idea of a partner cheating (whether it be physically, or being open to it) is the most terrifying thing for me...

What a lot of people do is just ignore responses they don't find helpful, especially if you tell them that you don't find it helpful and they respond again in a way that doesn't make you feel they understand what you are saying. You don't owe it to anybody to explain yourself, and are probably...

I'm glad you wrote out your letter to Gia to keep and ponder instead of sending, hopefully you can snap out of this "comparison" feeling you have happening right now, as I imagine you end up feeling like you were putting pressure on Gia when you are trying to avoid that very thing. I just want...

Have you ever had nights like that together? If so, I assume you really enjoyed having that time with him, and miss it. If not, you could just be seeing how relaxing and fun it is for the others when they get it, and are feeling the need for similar relaxing/chill time. Hell, maybe you spend...